For those of you who have been following me awhile, you'll remember when I posted a few months about about how deciding to stay in a marriage to work things out was the hard decision. And conversely, that deciding to leave was easy. An easy out, per se.
Allow me to apologize for that post.
Neither decision is easy. Neither one is the easy out. And no matter which one you choose, you will always have questions and doubts about whether you are making (or have made) the right decision.
There is no right or wrong answer when it comes to marriage and who should stay in one or who should leave. Or at least, there isn't one that anyone else can make for you. You, as the person who is making the decision, are the ONLY one who can make it.
I wish there was some magical advice for people having troubles in their marriages. Some people turn to counseling, some people turn to God, while other people turn to much uglier alternatives (cheating, drugs, alcohol, etc.).
But again, there is no right or wrong answer when it comes to matters of the heart.
For me, I had a lot of doubts. A lot of questions. Things I wish could have been resolved with a snap of a finger (don't we all??).
Unfortunately, it doesn't work that way.
I had to do a lot of praying and analyzing. However, I also did a lot of worrying and had sleepless nights and I questioned myself, as well as other people, about what I "should" do.
There came a point where I just had to let it go. No amount of worrying and questioning and driving myself crazy was going to give me an answer. I had to let it go and give it to God. I asked people for prayers and I prayed daily, sometimes multiple times a day, about providing me the guidance for my future.
And miraculously, without killing myself to figure it out, I had my answer. I had my aha moment, where I knew what I wanted to do and was finally at peace with the decision I was making.
Here's the thing...nobody could tell me what I should do or what the right answer was. Nobody was living in my shoes or my situation or knew what I felt or knew or needed.
Believe me, everyone will have their opinions and will give you their two (or three) cents about what you "should" do or what they would do in your situation. But I can promise that NOBODY knows what they would do in any situation until they are put into it.
So if you're going through a difficult time in your relationship and struggling to make a decision, especially one as hard as divorcing or staying, give yourself grace. Allow yourself to feel what you're feeling. And shut out everyone else's opinions. Because in the end, the only person who's opinion matters is your own.
I hope you all have a beautiful week. And know that I am praying for all of you...please message me if there is anything specific I can pray for you. Also know that I am here if you have any questions or concerns. Everyone has their struggles. And I want you to know that you are not alone.
With love and wellness,