Who are you when the world’s not looking?
Do you hold yourself accountable? Do you return the change when too much is given? Do you no rep yourself in a workout? Do you follow through on promises to yourself?
Who you are when nobody is looking is who you are.
Read that again.
Too many people take short cuts when nobody is looking. Cheat reps. Short change movements. Keep the excess change. Break promises to themselves because nobody else is harmed.
But what damage is this doing to yourself? How much trust are you breaking in yourself? How can you believe in yourself and what you’re doing if you only get by to get by? That the only way things are wrong is if you get caught doing them?
Think about it…if you are home alone and nobody is around, would you be proud of yourself if you were being secretly recorded? I mean, yes…I get it. Home is where we can let our hair down, and yes, some of the things I do at home by myself would be hilarious if anyone else saw them. But I still hold myself accountable, especially when I’ve made promises to myself.
For instance, I’ve declared that I will vacuum my house every Sunday of the year. Yes, it seems silly and small, but I write it in my calendar every week as part of my to do list. And even on the days I don’t want to do it, such as yesterday, I still pulled the vacuums out and did it (we have two vacuums – one for our hardwood floors and one for our rugs).
Following through with this promise to myself is helping to build trust and confidence that I will do what I say I will do. It’s just as important to build that in myself as it is to build with other people. And I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to give up on myself.
Doing something as small as vacuuming every week brings me joy. My house is cleaner and easier to maintain. And having a well-maintained house brings me peace of mind. I don’t see tufts of dog hair floating down the hallway when we walk through. It’s a good thing for me and ultimately, for my home life.
Another thing I do, even if I’m working out by myself, is I no rep myself in workouts. If I don’t complete the movement correctly or I fail in a movement, I no rep myself and add another rep to make up for it. Think wall balls, for instance. One of the standards is the ball has to hit the wall at the target mark. Many times, I either miss the wall completely or I hit below the target. So I count that as a miss and I add an additional one to my count. It’s another way I hold myself accountable, even if nobody is watching.
I firmly believe that how you train is how you’ll play, whether that’s in a game or a competition or in life itself. So if you short change yourself, if you cheap reps, if you take short cuts in your own life, then that’s how you’re ultimately going to be in life.
For me, that’s not acceptable. It isn’t always easy doing the right thing. And it certainly isn’t always fun to do the right thing. But in the end, it’s the only thing that gives me peace of mind. I have too much of a guilty conscience to do anything less than that.
I’ll give you one more example… one night, Nick and I went out to eat at Red Robin. We had gift cards that covered most of the meal, but then we left the remainder in cash and for the tip. When our waiter was cashing us out, the systems were down so the gift cards weren’t run. The waiter told us to go ahead and leave and he would take care of it when the system came back up.
After leaving, I started thinking about it and worrying that the gift cards wouldn’t work and that the waiter would have to cover our meal. I called Red Robin to make sure everything worked and the waiter received the very well deserved tip we left (he did amazing). The manager told us everything ran through fine and thanked me for calling to verify.
Yes, it may seem over the top, but I wanted to ensure we did right by the waiter. He worked his butt off and I didn’t want him to have to suffer because of our potential mistake.
But that’s how I am. I may overthink everything and I may be over the top, but I would rather live my life with integrity than have any sense of guilt over doing something or someone wrong.
And no, I’m not trying to sound righteous…goodness knows I haven’t always been like this. When I was younger, I often would simply get by to get by. I’d do the easy thing because it was, well, easier. But that didn’t mean I had peace of mind or felt good about it.
And now as I’m older, I’d rather have peace of mind. It’s as simple as that.
So… who are you when the world’s not looking?
Have a beautiful week, and I hope you had an amazing Valentine’s Day!
With love and wellness,