So, long before I got married, long before marriage was even on my radar, I used to wonder how people knew they wanted to marry their significant other. I mean, how did they know the person they were with was the one they wanted to spend their life with?
It's an important question. One that I always wanted the answer to.
People kept telling me they "just knew." But what in the heck does that mean? How does that even help people?!
I'll admit...I was lost for awhile. Figuring myself out. Figuring out what I wanted in a guy.
And my first marriage...well, we all know how that ended. But I look back now and I can see that I wasn't nearly as fulfilled as I thought I was. Or should be. I often wondered if my first year of marriage was supposed to feel that way. It wasn't supposed to be like that, right?!
I can't say that I'm not happy with how things turned out. And I certainly can't say that I'm not happy being exactly where I am supposed to be.
But life was hard for awhile. I thought I would be single forever following that whole fiasco. I had a series of mishaps with guys...so I swore them off. I literally wanted nothing to do with guys.
And then Nick walked into my life. I know, I know...it's so cliche to say that he's everything I didn't even know I was looking for. But it's 100% true.
He very quickly found a way into my life and into my heart that I didn't even know was missing. He proved to me that not every guy is the same. Because yes, we fall into that place. We tell ourselves that every guy will treat us poorly. That every guy only wants one thing. That every guy will hurt us.
And yes, I tried to push him away. I really did. I didn't want to be hurt again. The way I'd been hurt over and over again.
But he was patient. And he showed me that he was real. He was in it for the long haul. And he wasn't going anywhere.
I knew very quickly that he was the man I wanted to spend my life with. And I realized that people meant it when they said they "just knew." I had finally figured it out. There really wasn't a way to explain it...there still really isn't.
But I want to try. Because I want you to understand what it means to find the person you're meant to be with. I don't want you to settle. I want you to hold out for someone who makes you feel like you're the only woman (or man) alive. And will do everything in their power to make you happy. I promise...it's out there!
Here's how I knew Nick was for me... and what you should look for.
I can be my truest self around him. Like, my goofy, all over the place, hot mess self. I don't have to hide who I am because he accepts me for exactly who I am. He loves me when I'm sad, when I'm angry, when I'm happy, when I'm goofy, when I'm tired, when I'm hyper, when I'm grumpy. He loves me for me. Period. No questions asked. And I, without a doubt, know that. Even though I ask him all the time if he loves me, LOL. See...he puts up with a lot!
He goes above and beyond to make sure I'm happy. And vice versa. We compromise. We put each others' needs and wants first. He's gone out late at night to satisfy a craving I've had or to put gas in my car, knowing I don't have time to do it the next day. He genuinely takes care of me. In a way I've never been taken care of before. And yes, I know...I am an independent woman and can take care of myself, but it sure is nice to have someone help you carry the load. An equal partner in crime is amazing!
The other important thing is that we talk about everything. There isn't anything I can't tell him. Or don't want to tell him. We even tell each other the hard stuff...the hard truths, so to speak. The ones we don't want to hear, but we have to in order to grow. He's the one I want to call whenever anything happens. And that, my friends, is very important to have!
We also push each other to reach our goals. We hold each other accountable. We work together, run ideas by each other, help each other grow. We truly are partners in every sense. Personal. Professional. Fitness. Fun. It's nice to have him by my side.
We respect one another. Even if (and when) we don't always agree on something. We still respect one another and our respective opinions. We talk about things and come to a mutual agreement. We don't blindside one another without discussing things first.
Lastly, I'm at peace. I don't question him. I don't question us. I don't question our relationship. I know, without a doubt, that I am loved and respected and cherished. That Nick only does what is in our best interest...for our family. He works his butt off every day and then comes home and spoils the crap out of me. And I 100% do not take advantage of it! We spoil one another, really.
For me, this is the best relationship I've ever been in. The easiest and hardest one at the same time. Any relationship takes work, especially when it comes to marriage. But it's one I will fight for, for the rest of my life. Because it is 100% worth it.
So wait for that. Wait for the person you can be yourself with. The person you don't have to hide any part of you from. The person who will bend over backwards to make sure you're happy and well taken care of.
Don't settle. Never settle. You're worth so much more than anything less than that.
I hope y'all have an amazing week! And have an even brighter outlook for 2020!
With love and wellness,