In church yesterday, our pastor talked about appreciation and loving yourself. It was an interesting sermon because he said you wouldn't fully allow yourself to be loved by God without loving and appreciating yourself first.
This brought back a whole flood of emotions and thoughts as I remembered back into 2015.
Scott and I previously dated for about 7 months, then broke up for about 6 months in 2015 before getting back together. We both played our part in it, but at the time, all I could do was focus on yet another failed relationship on my part.
I couldn't understand why I kept going down that same road. Date a guy for awhile, start developing feelings for him, then have it all fall apart. I knew I played a part in it, but at the time, I really didn't know what exactly that was.
So instead of dating around like I normally would...you know, to keep my mind off the heartbreak...I decided I needed to learn about myself and why this same thing kept happening to me.
Around this same time, I was on the hunt for a new church. I hadn't been in awhile, and I kept telling myself I was going to go back. Luckily, a friend of mine was church shopping and invited me to go along with her.
And I'll tell you what...it was EXACTLY what I was looking for.
I was searching for someone to love me and accept me, yet I didn't really love and accept myself. And because of that, I didn't allow God back into my life. I didn't think I was worth it or deserved His love.
It was hard for me to turn inward and look at my own faults, my own sins. Who ever wants to do that? And it sounds cliche, but it's the one thing that finally set me free.
It's been a work in progress since then, but I finally stopped holding myself to extremely high standards, as well as everyone else in my life. I started loving myself for exactly who I was, and appreciating all the amazing gifts God gave me!
I used to try to quiet myself down and hide my emotions. I used to change who I was for whomever I was dating...you know, to make them happy. I used to dim my light, so to speak.
When I started embracing exactly who I am, my whole life changed. First and foremost, I allowed God back into my life because I realized I DID 100% deserve all His grace and glory! Second, I became who I was fully intended to be!
I am super quirky and loud (when I want to be); I am emotional and nearly everything makes me cry, happy or sad or otherwise. I joke about it, and some people may look down on me for it, but I don't care. I've finally embraced that side of me. And that whole changing to please other people thing? Yeah, that's over and done with! I am 100% me! And you know what? I love exactly who I am!
I've seen and felt such a change in who I am and how my life is with this change in my life. I've grown so much more than I ever imagined and am beyond blessed at how this has manifested in my life. And more importantly, I am growing my relationship with God and my husband every day. I wouldn't be where I am with either relationship had I not taken the time to work on myself first.
Do you love and appreciate yourself? Do you fully embrace exactly who you are, where you are, right this moment?
Really stop and think about those questions.
Sometimes we focus so much on what's "wrong" with us or what we would change if we could that we don't fully appreciate all the amazing things about us. We dim our light to appease other people because we think that's what is expected of us. And the end result is unhappiness and discord.
One way to do this is to pray, of course, and invite God back into your life. Psalm 139:14 says we are all fearfully and wonderfully made! He has created us in His image! How amazing is that?
Another way is to focus on all the positive aspects in your life! Be thankful for everything you have, everything you've gone through, and all you continue to blessed with. Focus on what you HAVE instead of what you lack.
Could I wish I was taller? Sure...because let's be real. Being 5'3" presents it's own challenges! But I've been told over and over again by taller females that they wish they were my height.
We all wish for different things about us or our circumstances at one point or another. Just don't STAY in that place! Don't WISH AWAY your life!!
Let me know your thoughts on this, because I would love to hear them. Fully embrace exactly who you are! Love everything about yourself because you are LOVED and PERFECT exactly as you are, imperfections and all!
I hope you have a beautiful week!
With love and wellness,