Life is a series of ups and downs. One minute, everything feels amazing. You're happy. You're on top of the world. And the next, everything is flipped upside down.
The beauty of this, and also the worst part of it, is that this happens over and over again throughout our lives. In the middle of the bad times, remember that you'll get through it and the good times are coming. And in the middle of the good times, relish it, enjoy it, love it, because unfortunately, it won't last forever.
And I don't say that to be morbid; I just say it to be true.
Life will always give you trying times, just as it will always give you amazing times. Things will happen that you can't explain, both good and bad. And it doesn't always happen all at once or back and forth in rapid succession. But things will always happen, one way or another.
Take my life, for instance. I could have never imagined all the things I've been through over the past few years. I met someone who I thought was my person. I was happy and thought everything was great. Until it wasn't.
I got the most bizarre flipped upside down episode in my life ever. My person, my husband, was arrested. He left for work one morning and never came home. Talk about my life taking a complete 180. Everything I thought I knew was just...gone.
It seemed like following that, everything was just bad for awhile. It felt like the hits kept on coming. I rented out the house we owned together, moved into a one bedroom terrible situation for one month, then immediately moved into an apartment with a crazy person (whom I didn't know was crazy when we moved in together, for the record).
But then I met Nick. And things started looking up. It was like I'd been waiting for this man my entire life. He was everything I didn't know I needed. Patient. Understanding. Loving. Kind. I wasn't used to being loved the way he loved me. It was an adjustment, for sure.
Things were good. I moved out of the apartment and in with Nick. I sold the house I owned with my ex-husband, who at that time, was still my husband. It took far longer than I would've liked to get divorced, but it was FINALLY finalized. Nick and I got engaged and married.
But in the midst of my insane happiness, we had two miscarriages. It was heartbreaking and terrible, but it showed me just how much I want to be a mom. How much I want to have a baby with Nick.
With everything else going on, Nick and I bought a house together. We finally had our own space that we could make our own. However, in the meantime, we had several more miscarriages. We even said goodbye to our baby girl, Kynsleigh, at 16 weeks in utero.
Yes, life has a way of testing you. Of bringing you down when things are looking up.
I don't think it's meant to completely tear you down, though. In my worst of times, I have learned to lean on God to keep me standing. I have never prayed harder than when I felt like my life was falling down around me. I know I got through all of my rough situations because He was carrying me. I couldn't have done it on my own.
This picture I posted reminds me of His beauty. Of how He is always with me, even when things seem impossible. Even when I don't know how I'm going to move forward. God always provides a way. And He always provides the good following the storm.
I've also learned to focus on everything I am thankful for. Of all the things I've been blessed with. Many nights I lay in bed listing all the things I am grateful for. To help pull me out of a funk or to calm my racing heart.
Kynsleigh, even though it is heartbreaking she's no longer here, is always one of the things I mention in my grateful list. She taught me so much about myself and about life. She taught me about love. And about heartbreak. But she also taught me resilience. And about fighting for what I want.
Yes, life is a series of ups and downs. But I'm so grateful for every experience I've had. It's helped me become who I am and helped me be exactly where I'm supposed to be. Sometimes I wish things could be different, but then my life would look different than it does now. And I don't know if I would like that very much.
I don't know what the future holds, as none of us do, but I know that God's plan for my life is so much greater than I can imagine. I hold on to that belief and I thank God every day for it.
I hope you are able to ride the waves with God by your side, or whatever higher power you believe in. Stay strong, my friends. Relish the good times. Ride out the bad times. And know you are never alone.
I hope you have a beautiful week.
With love and wellness,