Life has this funny way of showing us we aren't in control...and to show us that it does go on, despite how we feel.
Tragedies, crises, traumas...they come out of left field and knock us completely off our axis. And they leave us fighting to figure out which way is up.
But the crazy thing is...despite how terrible it is, LIFE. GOES. ON.
A little over a week ago, my life was completely flipped upside down. I was going about my daily life and BOOM. It was altered in the course of one 10 minute phone call.
What I've learned over the course of this past week is that life, does in fact, go on. You have to get up, keep going, put your pants on one leg at a time (just like everyone else). But it's like going through the motions in a fog. I don't really remember a whole lot of the first weekend I found out.
It doesn't matter that everything has changed, that you're fighting to maintain "normal," that everyone is asking you how you are doing and what you need...and you have ZERO idea how to answer those questions.
I've never dealt with something of this magnitude, but I can tell you it's like grieving. I've gone through all the emotions...and continue to go through all the emotions. And when you ask me how I'm doing, I don't know how to answer. And when you ask me what I need, I don't know how to answer.
How am I supposed to be doing? What do I need, outside of back to the way things were?
I'm relearning how to live by myself again. I'm relearning a lot.
Thank you to all the people who have reached out, expressed concern and offered to help in whatever way they can. Thank you to my neighbors for mowing my lawn and offering continued prayers for our family. I know I haven't been the most responsive this week to everyone, but I've appreciated all your concern and kind words.
What I won't do is entertain questions about what happened or if I knew or how I'm planning to move forward from here. That is my business and my business alone.
Privacy, y'all. While the news doesn't allow for much of that, I deserve privacy. Life has completely changed, but I have to continue living it. And the questions aren't necessary.
But to alleviate some of them, here ya go... No, I didn't know. I had NO IDEA this was going on. If you know me at all, you wouldn't even think to ask me that. And no, I'm not going into details about what happened, because it's none of your concern. And what I plan to do from here on out is MY business, not yours. Sorry (not sorry) if that sounds blunt, but this is MY LIFE, people! It may feel like a bad dream, but it's still my life. And I still have to keep living it.
So that's what I've been doing. Continuing to move forward, one step at a time, taking it moment by moment, day by day. Again, thank you for the concern and kind words. But leave the questions out of it. Please.
Have an awesome week!
With love and wellness,