There’s a fine line between being nice and being taken advantage of.
As I look back over the last several years of my life, as much as I hate to admit it, I’ve definitely had my moments where I’ve been taken advantage of. I’ve been too nice. Afraid to hurt people. Or of confrontation. Or maybe of both.
I didn’t want to ruffle any feathers, so to speak.
But in doing so, I silenced my voice. Put my wants and feelings on the back burner. And all this ended up doing was making me very anxious and upset. I’m sure it raised my blood pressure a notch or two too.
Yes, it is possible to voice your unhappiness without being confrontational or a total jerk. But it took me awhile to be comfortable even doing that.
Instead, I bottled it up and it often came out in a not so nice way. I blew up at the person, or something along those lines. And that’s definitely not healthy. Or productive. At all.
I’ve since learned, and am still learning, how to handle those situations in a better manner. I don’t have to be a door mat and let people take advantage.
I think back to my ex-husband, my roommate after him, and lastly, my tenants (who I am now done with, thankfully). Every one of those situations has something in common (other than me)... all of them were manipulative and took advantage of my giving nature, my heart, my “too niceness.” They took and took and took until I had nothing left to give.
Each in different ways, but I think people like that are naturally drawn to people like me. Because it happens all the time. They know exactly what to say to get what they want. And when YOU change because you’re sick of being treated that way, then you’re at fault.
Anyone out there familiar with what I’m talking about?
All I know is that each of these experiences have taught me a lot about who I am, what I want in life (and certainly don’t want), and how to stand up for myself without being a jerk. Again, I’m still a work in progress, but I no longer am a door mat.
If you’ve been through this and have advice for ways to improve and learn and grow, I’d love to hear them. I’m always interested in hearing how others have gotten through something similar.
I hope you all have a beautiful week. And are NOT a door mat for anyone!
With love and wellness,