So I'll warn you right now...I'm about to get a little corny. And maybe a little sappy. So if you aren't into either of those, stop reading right now.
Buuuuut, if you are looking for REAL and AUTHENTIC and RAW, then keep reading. I promise, for you ladies looking for your one true love, it will be worth it.
It took me a long time to be truly confident and comfortable with who I am. I would start dating guys and I would change who I was to suit them. I didn't really know who I was or what I wanted or where I wanted to be. So I just became whatever that guy wanted.
Let me tell you something...that DOES NOT work! At all.
I ended up being unhappy, as did the guys I was dating. And those relationships never lasted.
I'd like to say I stopped looking for "the one" after a series of failed relationships. But I didn't. I kept on searching and hoping that guy would just drop into my lap. You know, like it does in the movies.
Ha. That's a laugh, right?!
Tomorrow marks the one year anniversary of my baptism...when I invited Jesus back into my life and realized He was the man I'd been looking for my entire adult life. The man who accepted me for exactly who I am, without judgment, without fail, without any expectations.
And it wasn't until then that I accepted myself for exactly who I was. I came to terms with the glory that is ME.
I realized that if a man didn't accept me for who I am, then they weren't worth my time or effort. I realized that if a man walked away because I wouldn't sleep with him, then they certainly weren't worth my time or effort. And I realized that if I had to chase a man or change who I was to be with him, then they definitely weren't worth my time or effort.
When I finally realized all this, something changed for me. I stopped chasing men. I stopped chasing the fantasy that had been playing in my head for years. I stopped expecting my "dream man" to fall into my lap.
But you know what I started to do?
I started believing in myself. I started becoming exactly who I wanted to be. I learned what I liked and disliked. I became ME. 100% me.
And I realized exactly what I wanted in a man.
It was amazing to finally feel good in my skin...to know my worth...and to know my value wasn't based on whether a man liked me or wanted to be with me.
What a change this made in my dating life. As soon as a guy said they weren't interested or made it clear they were only interested in one thing, I walked away. There were no what-ifs or second guessing myself. I knew there was something better out there for me.
And that guy? He fell into my lap when I was least expecting it. I wasn't looking and I certainly didn't think it would end up being Scott.
It's a different feeling being with someone who accepts you for exactly who you are...I don't have to change who I am or pretend to be something I'm not. He loves me for the crazy, weird, impatient, silly woman I am. And I wouldn't have it any other way.
It's also nice not wondering and worrying if he likes who I am or wants to be with me. Because my worth and my value is not based on his acceptance of me (even if he does accept me).
That part needs repeating...my value and worth is not based on any man's acceptance of me. Just as YOUR value and worth is not based on any man's acceptance of you.
Self-love, self-worth, self-value...those are the three things that are most important. You have to have all of those for yourself first before anyone else will be able to love you. Believe me, I know that first hand.
As selfish as it sounds, I am in love with ME first (well, God and Jesus first, then me), because without that, I wouldn't be able to accept love from Scott (or anyone else for that matter).
I hope you've made it to the end of this long post...I wanted to share this with you because I think it's important. As women, we tend to put our worth and value in other people's opinions of us, starting at a young age. And that, my beautiful friends, is not the case.
Whenever you start worrying or wondering what other people think about you, ask yourself if you can pay your bills with their opinions. And if you can't, then don't worry about it.
Yep, it's really that simple!
Have a beautiful week, and remember, you are beautiful exactly as you are!!
With love and wellness,