So I’ve been living alone (again) for a week now. It’s been an adjustment, to say the least. For many years, I lived on my own, so that’s not the issue. But for those many years, I had a furry little four-legged friend (or two) to keep me company. And I’d only really been alone for a couple months when I started dating Scott. And then I technically wasn’t alone anymore (I spent most of my nights at his house).
So when we moved in together, I instantly went from being on my own to (every other week) a family of five and a big ol’ Husky to always keep me company. Needless to say, there was always some noise or something going on, so I was never really alone. We made dinner together, we ate together, we watched movies together, etc. etc. And I’ll admit, I got spoiled. He did most of the cooking, while I did most of the clean-up, and we were both okay with that arrangement.
And I think that’s where the biggest adjustment has been for me….having to cook for myself again. And judge how much food I actually need for just one person, LOL. I think in my head, I’m still used to cooking for two (or five, depending on the week), which means I have lots of leftovers. Not that that’s a bad thing, but it makes a difference, LOL.
Plus the silence…I can’t get over the silence. The first night was definitely the hardest in that I didn’t have internet yet (how did I possibly survive??) and it was so silent in the house. Every night since then, I’ve had music playing or a movie or TV show on my iPad to have some noise. I don’t know what that says about me, but it’s nice to have the background noise. And to be honest, I’m completely okay with it :P
I don’t want to give anyone the wrong impression though. I thoroughly enjoy my alone time and don’t mind the quiet/silence. But after being with someone almost every day for the past six months, it’s made for a big change in my life. It also doesn’t help that I like to watch scary movies by myself. At least at Scott’s, I had the Husky to protect me :P
I’ve finally gotten into my new routine though…I like it. Actually, I love it. I have so much more time to get things done, and I’m able to take care of myself (by practicing self-care) so much better now. There’s something about a hot bath all by yourself with no interruptions that just soothes the soul.
I’ll admit, I let self-care take a back seat when I lived with Scott. I put everyone else first, especially the kids. And I know I wasn’t technically a “mom,” but I can now see how mothers are stressed and tired and put themselves last all the time. Women, in general, want to take care of everyone and everything, more often than not to the detriment of themselves and their health. Now add in being a mother and that becomes that much worse.
We, as women, need to make sure we take care of ourselves first. And yes, it sounds selfish, but if we are sick and tired and run-down, how can we take care of anyone else? I’m not saying that we need to put everything/everyone else on the back burner, but we have to learn to give ourselves some downtime. And more importantly, to not be so hard on ourselves!!
Our houses don’t have to be spotless, the beds don’t have to be perfectly made, and the laundry doesn’t need to be all done in one sitting. Because if you are happy and healthy, the significant other is happy and healthy, and the kids are happy and healthy, then that’s all that really matters, right?
So I’m off to end my lazy Sunday with an early bedtime (I had a late Saturday night), and to start my week off right. So remember, take time for yourself this week. Have a hot bath, practice a little meditation, take a walk by yourself, get a pedicure, or maybe even spoil yourself and get a massage! But whatever it is, enjoy it and don’t feel guilty for doing it! We all need to learn to love on ourselves a little more!!
Here’s some motivation for you to start your week off right!
With love and wellness,
Some days are harder than others. This is true for everyone. And I’m not saying this because I feel like my days have been especially hard, but because I think it needs to be acknowledged every now and again. We’re all told to stay positive and focus on all the good things in our life. And yes, this is true. Because when you focus on the good things and you stay positive, you continue to be positive and have good things happen to you.
But this isn’t always the case. Because we all have bad days. We all wake up on the wrong side of the bed and don’t know what’s wrong…days where we can’t quite place our finger on what exactly is wrong. And that doesn’t make us bad people…or negative people. It makes us human.
Because I’ll be honest…there are days where I haven’t the slightest idea why, but I am overwhelmed and stressed and just want to stay in bed hiding under the covers all day. I know I have an amazing life. I am truly blessed with the life I have and the people I have in it. But some days are harder than others to focus on those good things and to stay positive and upbeat.
Here’s the long and the short of it. I don’t dwell on my bad days. I allow myself to feel what I’m feeling…to really figure out what it is that’s bothering me. What I find works best for me is to journal about it…I start out writing what the problem is and how I’m feeling and I just write. I don’t think about it or stop to wonder if what I’m writing is okay…I just let the words flow. And 9.5 times out of 10, I feel MUCH better after I’m done. I’ve either figured out what exactly was bothering me or realized there was actually nothing bothering me…it was just in my head. Or, better yet, I’ve thought of a solution to help me make the situation better!
Because let’s face it, how often do we sit around dwelling on a problem, only to make it worse? We overthink or overanalyze it to the point of worrying ourselves to sickness. In reality, half the things we worry about end up being nothing that comes to fruition.
And believe me, I am the *Queen* of doing this. Scott is constantly telling me to stop living in the “what if” world. And he’s right. He doesn’t realize how much he’s helped me by telling me that. Because I’ll go to say something – you know, to make a valid point in a disagreement we’re having – and I’ll stop dead in my tracks because I’ve realized I was going to say something that started with “what if.” You know what I’m talking about…what if the car won’t start? What if we get stuck? What if I can’t do it? What if I fail? What if…what if…what if… Because what if I succeed?? What if I CAN do it?? Think of all the possibilities that are out there if you GET OUT OF YOUR OWN HEAD!!
We are our own worst enemies. Doubt and fear creep in and we wonder if we’re good enough to start our own business…or to have that class or talk in front of a crowded room…or to approach the hot guy (or gal) across the bar. Don’t let your own self-doubts get in your way. Because courage, real courage, is about feeling that fear and DOING IT ANYWAY! We’re never going to be 100% ready for any big changes in our lives…but we get up, put our big girl (or big boy) panties on, hold our heads high, and we do it anyways. We take the leap!
My friend sent me this picture awhile back and I often look at it as a reminder that sometimes I’m the only thing standing in my way. We all need that reminder every now and again, huh?
So don’t let the bad days hold you back…don’t let the bad moment become a full day, or the full day become days. Embrace your feelings…figure out what it is that is bothering you…then change it. Find something that takes your mind off of it. Write down the wonderful things in your life…or the wonderful things that have happened to you. Don’t dwell too long on the negative because you don’t want to stay there. It’s really true when they tell you to focus on the positive…because then positive things will come back to you. I promise, it works :)
Here’s a good challenge for you over the next week…every day, right before you go to bed, write out three good things that happened to you that day. They don’t have to be huge things…they can be as simple as a random stranger smiling at you or holding the door for you. But focus on those three good things. And every morning, write down three things you are grateful for. A bed to sleep in, a roof over your head, food on your table. Anything you are grateful for. And watch how your outlook changes. Focus on the good things in your life! It may just become a habit :)
With love and wellness,