Are you a worrier? Do you spend more time worrying about what may (or may not) happen than actually enjoying the process?
If you answered yes to either or both of those questions, take heart. I was there once too! And it is a HARD habit to break.
But here's the thing. Worrying isn't productive. And most of the time, what you are worried about doesn't even happen! So you spend a lot of time...no, you WASTE a lot of time worrying over absolutely nothing!
I spent SO MUCH time being that person. The worrier. Worrying about what may happen. Or what may not happen. And I wasted SO MUCH time actually enjoying where I was and the process it took to get there.
And I feel like God continually put me in similar situations to help me learn to NOT be the worrier. And boy, was I in A LOT of situations where I worried...a lot. Too much.
Goodness, I look back and shake my head at the things I worried about. And at how many times I had absolutely nothing to worry about because it all worked out. Every. Single. Time.
And worse, at all the things I worried about that I had absolutely no control over. That no matter how much I worried about it, nothing I did could have changed the outcome.
Y'all... worrying gets you a whole lot of nothing. Well, nothing but heartache and stealing your peace.
I always used to say I put my trust and faith in God, especially when it was things I couldn't control. But I still tried to hold on to control. I still tried to control it all. So I worried. And it made me anxious. And it wasn't productive.
But in situation after situation, I would still worry. It wasn't until after our last miscarriage with Kynsleigh that I truly let go and let God. It didn't matter what I did, how hard I tried, how much I changed, what happened to her was out of my control. As hard as that is to admit and realize, I could have changed nothing about what happened.
I leaned a lot into God throughout the entirety of that happening. And I continue to do so to this day. When I feel my anxiety and worries rising to the surface, I pray and ask God to bring me peace...to take away those worries and anxious feelings. I wish I could explain how much it helps, but I immediately feel a sense of peace wash over me.
I've let go of my need to control everything. It's only taken me MY WHOLE LIFE thus far, but it feels good to finally let go! Because the ultimate truth is that I really don't have much control over much of anything.
It's more peaceful this way for me. For Nick. For everything. I'll be okay, no matter what happens. I've learned and lived that over and over again.
So how can I help you let go of control? Because I know how draining it can be. And I'd love to help you.
I hope you have a beautiful last week of February (already).
With love and wellness,
Who are you when the world’s not looking?
Do you hold yourself accountable? Do you return the change when too much is given? Do you no rep yourself in a workout? Do you follow through on promises to yourself?
Who you are when nobody is looking is who you are.
Read that again.
Too many people take short cuts when nobody is looking. Cheat reps. Short change movements. Keep the excess change. Break promises to themselves because nobody else is harmed.
But what damage is this doing to yourself? How much trust are you breaking in yourself? How can you believe in yourself and what you’re doing if you only get by to get by? That the only way things are wrong is if you get caught doing them?
Think about it…if you are home alone and nobody is around, would you be proud of yourself if you were being secretly recorded? I mean, yes…I get it. Home is where we can let our hair down, and yes, some of the things I do at home by myself would be hilarious if anyone else saw them. But I still hold myself accountable, especially when I’ve made promises to myself.
For instance, I’ve declared that I will vacuum my house every Sunday of the year. Yes, it seems silly and small, but I write it in my calendar every week as part of my to do list. And even on the days I don’t want to do it, such as yesterday, I still pulled the vacuums out and did it (we have two vacuums – one for our hardwood floors and one for our rugs).
Following through with this promise to myself is helping to build trust and confidence that I will do what I say I will do. It’s just as important to build that in myself as it is to build with other people. And I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to give up on myself.
Doing something as small as vacuuming every week brings me joy. My house is cleaner and easier to maintain. And having a well-maintained house brings me peace of mind. I don’t see tufts of dog hair floating down the hallway when we walk through. It’s a good thing for me and ultimately, for my home life.
Another thing I do, even if I’m working out by myself, is I no rep myself in workouts. If I don’t complete the movement correctly or I fail in a movement, I no rep myself and add another rep to make up for it. Think wall balls, for instance. One of the standards is the ball has to hit the wall at the target mark. Many times, I either miss the wall completely or I hit below the target. So I count that as a miss and I add an additional one to my count. It’s another way I hold myself accountable, even if nobody is watching.
I firmly believe that how you train is how you’ll play, whether that’s in a game or a competition or in life itself. So if you short change yourself, if you cheap reps, if you take short cuts in your own life, then that’s how you’re ultimately going to be in life.
For me, that’s not acceptable. It isn’t always easy doing the right thing. And it certainly isn’t always fun to do the right thing. But in the end, it’s the only thing that gives me peace of mind. I have too much of a guilty conscience to do anything less than that.
I’ll give you one more example… one night, Nick and I went out to eat at Red Robin. We had gift cards that covered most of the meal, but then we left the remainder in cash and for the tip. When our waiter was cashing us out, the systems were down so the gift cards weren’t run. The waiter told us to go ahead and leave and he would take care of it when the system came back up.
After leaving, I started thinking about it and worrying that the gift cards wouldn’t work and that the waiter would have to cover our meal. I called Red Robin to make sure everything worked and the waiter received the very well deserved tip we left (he did amazing). The manager told us everything ran through fine and thanked me for calling to verify.
Yes, it may seem over the top, but I wanted to ensure we did right by the waiter. He worked his butt off and I didn’t want him to have to suffer because of our potential mistake.
But that’s how I am. I may overthink everything and I may be over the top, but I would rather live my life with integrity than have any sense of guilt over doing something or someone wrong.
And no, I’m not trying to sound righteous…goodness knows I haven’t always been like this. When I was younger, I often would simply get by to get by. I’d do the easy thing because it was, well, easier. But that didn’t mean I had peace of mind or felt good about it.
And now as I’m older, I’d rather have peace of mind. It’s as simple as that.
So… who are you when the world’s not looking?
Have a beautiful week, and I hope you had an amazing Valentine’s Day!
With love and wellness,
As kids, we are in a mega rush to grow up. When we aren't yet old enough to drive, we can't wait until we're able to drive. And after we're able to drive, we can't wait until we're old enough to make our own decisions as adults. And then we can't wait til we're old enough to drink.
After that, we can't wait to graduate college, if we go, so we can "start" our lives. We're in such a rush to grow up and get into the adult world.
But, and I can't stress this enough, why? Why do we rush away our life?
I know I was like this. I couldn't wait until I was old enough to live on my own and make my own decisions and run my own life.
I rushed through high school and started community college before I had even graduated from high school. Then I rushed through college...and I do mean rushed. I took summer school classes and fast tracked literally everything. I graduated in 3 1/2 years like it was some sort of badge of honor.
And then, big surprise, I got a "big girl" job and life hit. Responsibilities. Having to make tough choices. Never knowing if what I was doing was worth it or where I was meant to be.
And then one day, I realized I'd wished my youth away. Yes, I had fun in high school, but I spent a lot of time working and getting those all so important college courses out of the way at community college. And yes, I had fun in college, but I turned down a lot of things so I could work and take more classes. I wanted to be done with college quickly so I could "start" the rest of my life.
But what in the heck does that even mean?! Was high school and college not a part of my life? Why did I feel it was so important to rush through these major milestones? Why do WE, as a society, feel it's so important to rush through so many things?
Or worse, we play the "I'll be happy when..." game. Instead of enjoying what we have and where we are in life, we think, "I'll be happy when I make more money," or "I'll be happy when I have a bigger house (car, pool, etc.)."
And I know you know what I'm talking about...because we've ALL been there!
It's a nasty game we play with ourselves.
I learned a long time ago to enjoy where I am in life, but every now and again, I find myself gazing wistfully at the future and wishing I was there now. But I bring myself back by counting my current blessings. By reminding myself how incredibly blessed I am RIGHT NOW.
And, even better, by reminding myself that everything I have, I once wished for. Life may not have always gone as planned, but I am grateful for all I have and all I’ve been through.
And I am so beyond blessed. So for now, I enjoy where I am in life. I know that Nick and I are working towards our future, but I am happy with how our life is right now. I’ve counted all our blessings multiple times, and I’ve done all I can within my control, but I know I can’t rush it. Nor do I want to.
So for all of you out there, don’t rush it! Things will happen as they’re supposed to. And if you’re a young kid in the process of growing up, don’t rush it! Enjoy it! Because it really does go by too fast!
Enjoy your week, my friends. And live in the moment. Enjoy where you are right now. And more importantly, if you don’t like where you are, work on changing it.
With love and wellness,
Everything is scary when you’re first learning how to do it. Yes. Everything.
But here’s a little secret for you... everyone starts as a beginner. Yes. Everyone.
You don’t get good at something by never starting or trying. The first time you try something will generally be scary. And then you get better at it. And better at it. And better at it.
Until eventually, if you work at it long enough, you become an expert or master at the trade, whatever it is.
But, you have to start to get better. If you never try, if you never take that first step, you’ll live in a perpetual state of never knowing. Never knowing if you can. Never knowing if you could do it. Just never knowing.
And yes, it can seem overwhelming when you’re first starting out, when you’re first looking at all you have to learn. It can seem like there’s so much to learn and so far to go.
I know I feel that way. I tend to over-analyze everything (shocker) and get analysis paralysis. Where I see what needs to be done but instead of doing any of it, I get stuck. I am afraid. And goodness knows I am overwhelmed.
But when I take that first step, however small it is, it helps break me out of my paralysis. It helps me move forward. It helps me see that I don’t have to be perfect... that the action I’m taking doesn’t have to be perfect.
And you know what else it does? It helps me LEARN! I get a little bit better at whatever it is I’m doing. I learn something new. And I continue learning and growing and becoming better.
I may never be an expert but I will be better than I was before. And let me tell you... google is often my best friend!
Here are some perfect examples...
I was terrified when I first started CrossFit. I had NO IDEA what I was doing. But I finally took the first step and just started! And wouldn’t you know it... I fell in love and haven’t looked back!
And then I was terrified when I first started coaching CrossFit. Yes, I took the training, but I had NO IDEA what I was doing. But I jumped in with two feet and I learned and again, I fell in love with it! And I continue to learn on a daily basis.
And owning our own CrossFit gym... yes, you guessed it, I was terrified! Owning a brick and mortar business is a heckuva lot different than a virtual store or business. But we’re learning. And we’re taking steps to continue to learn. And the more we do, the more we learn and the more comfortable we get.
So yes, I’ve been a beginner a lot in my life. And I will continue to be a beginner over and over again.
Now I just have to remember that small steps will help me get there. And I don’t have to know it all to start. In fact, the best way to learn is by doing!
So get out there and start today! Whatever it is... whatever you’ve been putting off... Just. Start. Learn by doing. Do as you learn.
Have a beautiful week! And welcome to February!
With love and wellness,
We are a quick fix society. We want to be able to press the easy button to get everything we want. We want to take a pill to lose weight. We want to jump on the latest get rich quick scheme to become wealthy. We want someone to tell us exactly what to eat or what workouts to do.
What we don't want to do is the work...
When someone asks me about what diet to eat, I don't give a specific answer, because it's different for everyone. I can't tell someone exactly what to eat to lose weight. Unfortunately, what works for one person won't necessarily work for someone else.
But people don't like to hear that. They don't want to do the work to figure out what works for them and what doesn't. Y'all...it took me FIVE YEARS to figure out exactly what to eat that works for me. That keeps my hormone levels evened out. That keeps me happy and full. That doesn't make me feel bloated or disgustingly full or break me out in a rash.
It takes time and it takes work. Most things do.
But, once again, we are an impatient, quick fix society. We don't want to wait for results. We don't want to wait for gratification. We want whatever it is and we want it now.
Don't we sound like a bunch of spoiled toddlers?
The sad truth is this is the majority of society these days. We look at people who "have it all" and think how lucky they are. When, in reality, those people worked their butts off to get where they are.
Getting what you want, living the life you want to live...it takes work. It takes perseverance and consistency. And it takes patience.
There is no easy button.
I'm not immune to this either. When I was suffering with terrible hormonal acne and hormonal imbalances, I wanted it to be fixed right away. I went on antibiotics to clear up my acne, which ultimately caused so many other issues. The last resort was when the doc wanted me to take Accutane. And I knew I needed to do something different.
I decided right then and there that I needed to do the work. To figure out what the underlying issues were and to not just rely on medicine...the "quick fix." And I'm so glad I did. I've looked at everything I've done since then the same way.
I put in the work. I am patient, even when it's hard. And I know that good things will result from my work.
What are you currently waiting on? What do you want a quick fix for? I'd love to hear them!
Have a beautiful week! And remember, there is no easy button!
With love and wellness,
Learning new things is overwhelming. And can be incredibly difficult. It can also be very paralyzing.
For me, when I have something new on my list to do, something I've never done before, I tend to overanalyze and overthink it. Instead of putting my head down and learning what I need to, I put it off. At least for a little while.
And in the mean time, you know what happens? I stress over it. Like, wake up at 130 in the morning and am awake for an hour and a half stressing over it.
It would have just been easier to learn the new thing and get it finished than stress and fret over it!
But I like to do things the hard way. At least for a little while.
So you know what I did this weekend? I took one whole day where I just sat and I did the hard things. I googled and I learned and I made mistakes, but I learned. I implemented things that we've wanted to do, I updated things that we needed to update, and I created new programs we wanted to create.
I no longer put it off. I put my big girl panties on and I made it happen. It was a lot. And I had lots of learning curves. And google became my best friend. But I did it! And I feel a relief and a weight off my shoulders for having done it.
Truthfully, had I done it as soon as I said I was going to, I probably wouldn't have stressed and had sleepless nights worrying over it. But like I said, I like to do things the hard way.
But it's what we tend to do. We put the hard things at the bottom of our list and they just keep being pushed further and further back.
When, in reality, the hard things should be at the top of our list. Those are the things we should do first. These are the things that are going to move us forward and make us better.
And one day, the hard things will no longer be the hard things. They'll be the easy things, the things you do without even thinking about it. The things that get easier and better as you continue learning and growing and getting better.
So another goal for 2021 is to do the hard things first. To no longer put them off and stress over them. To set aside the time and learn and do the hard things.
I'm all for growth and learning this year. To be better at what our business is doing and to do less better. Two weeks in and I'm on my way.
Do the hard things first, my friends.
Have a beautiful week!
With love and wellness,
My mom's birthday card to me this year told me my word for 2021 should be BELIEVE. And the more I thought about it, the more it sank in, the more I realized she was right.
I've done the work. I've put in the work. I've made the changes. I've put in the effort. Now it's time to believe I deserve it. To believe I deserve success and wealth and happiness and joy.
Because yes, believe it or not, sometimes we sabotage our success because we don't believe we deserve it. It sounds silly, but it's true. I'm pretty sure I've sabotaged myself a time or two.
So this year, I'm going to be different. It's going to be different.
I believe this year is going to be amazing. I believe Nick and I are going to be insanely successful. And I believe this is the year we have our beautiful miracle baby.
There's something magical that happens when you start believing. Not only in yourself, but in things happening in your life.
Things start happening for you...things start showing up, almost in a surprising manner. Because when you focus on the good things and you believe good things will happen, good things DO happen!
And I don't know about you, but I'd much rather focus on the good things and believe amazing things will happen. I'm done with the negativity and worrying and wondering what if.
2020, for all the things that happened, was actually a pretty good year for our family. We achieved so many goals, despite the setbacks and hard times we had. I know we can only go up from here.
And I'm beyond excited to see what 2021 has in store for our family. We've entered this year with strong goals and hope and a belief in ourselves. We are going to achieve everything we've set our minds to!
So here's to 2021 being our year. Our time. And here's to believing in ourselves. Believing we deserve everything we put our minds to. I'm ready to receive it!
Have a beautiful week. And BELIEVE!
With love and wellness,
I spent a lot of last year saying, "I should do this..." or "I should do that..." And then I never did it.
I didn't make plans to make it happen. I didn't follow through. I just didn't.
I meant well. I had every intention of doing said things. But I suppose those things weren't that important to me. I didn't make them a priority.
And then, guess what? They. Never. Happened. And then I complained about them NOT HAPPENING!
I mean...what did I expect? That they would just magically happen all on their own? That I'd wake up one day and the things I wanted to get done were done?
It would be nice if this would happen, but nope, that's not how life works. Unfortunately.
Now, don't get me wrong. I accomplished a lot last year. Our family accomplished a lot last year. But I let some of the small things slide. Some of the things I've wanted to do, and knew they would make a difference for me if I did them.
I didn't really give it a thought until I was going through my 2020 calendar...this is something I do every year to review everything I've done the previous year. And I realized it's a brand new year. A brand new start.
And yes, I know I don't need a new year to start something new. But why not now? Now is the PERFECT time to start!
So this year, I'm focusing on follow through. But not just on anything. I'm going to ensure I have my priorities straight. I'm going to have my list of goals, my list of things I want to accomplish, big and small, and I'm going to make sure I follow through.
More important, though, I want to ensure I'm not taking on too much. I want this to be the year where I learn to do LESS better.
I've always been one to take on too much. To say yes when I really don't have the time or when I don't really want to say yes.
Well...no more. Not this year.
So here's to 2021. Where I prioritize my to do list. Where I say no if it's not a Hell Yes. Where I do what I say I'm going to do. Where I follow through.
What about you? What are your plans for 2021?
Have a beautiful week! And Happy First Week of the New Year!
With love and wellness,
It’s no secret I am an over-thinker. I tend to worry and wonder about the future and what’s going to happen.
And I go through stages... where I let go and let God have control. And where I try so hard to hang on and control everything.
It’s no big surprise, then, when I’m massively stressed out is when I’m hanging on by my fingertips trying to be in total control. When, instead of enjoying the journey, I’m worrying and wondering and trying to force things to happen the way I want them to go.
I’ve gotten better as I’ve gotten older... and as I’ve been put in situation after situation where I’ve HAD to let go.
But it’s still hard. And no matter how hard I try, life still happens and it can be overwhelming. But I find I’m more stressed when I have negative thoughts about what’s happening...when I let my thoughts control how I feel.
My big goal for 2021 is to truly enjoy the journey. To not get so hung up on the worrying and the wondering and to trust God and the process. To trust that I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be.
And I know it isn’t easy, by any means. We all want to know what’s going to happen in our lives and when we’re going to get what we want. But by worrying and wondering, we’re missing out on our current life. It just passes us by.
I don’t want to let that happen anymore. I want to truly live in the moment. Relish every moment as I’m in it. The good, bad, and ugly. Because I know it all leads me exactly where I’m supposed to be.... it always has and it always will.
So I know you’re probably wondering, “Okay Whitney, that’s great. You’ve learned to let go, but HOW? What do I do to let go of this need to be in control?”
It’s a process. I won’t lie to you. But some of the ways I’ve used include praying... lots and lots of praying and asking God to take away my anxieties and worries. Journaling helps A TON too, because it gets it out of my head and seeing it in writing often helps me to see what I’m doing. Aka, I can see that I’m overthinking and can let go of whatever it is because now it’s out in the universe!
Talking to close friends/confidants and family helps too. Not just anyone, but people I trust and know won’t judge how I’m feeling and can help me rationalize what I’m thinking. Sometimes it takes an outside party to help you realize that a) how you’re feeling isn’t crazy, and b) you’re headed in the right direction with your anticipated response... or conversely, that maybe you should reconsider your response.
I’ve also used my morning gratitude journal and daily intentions to help me see how much good I have in my life. To truly see God’s influence in my life. It helps so much starting my day being grateful. And I do my journaling before I do anything else... before social media, before emails, even before breakfast.
Nick and I have also started reading the Bible together. Really diving into our spirituality and growing and trusting that God always has our backs. When we look at our lives, we see His influence and how, no matter what, He’s always provided for us. He always shows up. And that consistency helps me to be okay letting go.
Do you have some tried and true methods for learning to let go of control? If so, I’d love to hear them in the comments. We all have things that work differently for us, so the more we can know, the better!
I hope you all have a beautiful last week of 2020! Let’s shake this year off and head into 2021 with our heads held high and positive thoughts! It may look different as we head into the new year, but we can still have goals and aspirations we set for ourselves.
Love you all!
With love and wellness,
None of us could have imagined the year 2020 would bring. It's simultaneously been the longest year of our lives, while also somehow flying by. I legit can't believe we are already at Christmas!
I mean, who knew when we went into "lockdown" at the beginning of the year that it would only just be the start? At the time, I was pregnant and I wasn't mad that we weren't able to go anywhere. Staying healthy and safe was my only priority at the time.
And of course, we all hoped when school closed in the spring that it would be back to "normal" after the summer. And we all know how that worked. This year has been so unconventional and difficult for so many people.
While I've tried to stay positive through it all, goodness knows I've had my share of negative thoughts about this year. Especially when we got a day's notice that in person school was returning to virtual. I'm so thankful we have the help locally, because I know it hasn't been easy for so many families.
As we close out this year, I've looked back at everything that has happened and what I've learned. Patience has never been a strong suit of mine, but if there's anything virtual school teaches you, it's patience. It never works when you need it to, the videos are slow or lagging, and the poor teachers are trying to control all their students through the computer. I feel for the teachers. Big time. I'm hoping as we head into 2021 that my patience has improved and I see it reflected in every part of my life.
I've also learned that even in a pandemic, even when things look dire, that God always shows up. Nick and I have thrived this year. We paid off all our debt and we accomplished our dream of owning a CrossFit gym. When we made that goal together, we were thinking it would happen in the next 5 years or so. We had NO CLUE it would come true this year.
When we look back at 2020, our memories won't be about the lockdown or the masks, it will be about our amazing dream coming true and working our butts off to make it the most successful gym around!
Of course, we will never forget 2020 and losing our beautiful daughter Kynsleigh. She is a beautiful memory that will always be with us.
Despite the negatives, I'm thankful for this year. I'm thankful for the time it gave us with our families. I'm thankful for it forcing us to slow down. I'm thankful for the lessons.
There's no telling what 2021 will bring, but I know I'm not putting my goals and dreams on hold. I'll continue to work towards their achievement and continue to learn the lessons this world provides.
Life may look a little different these days, but it's no reason to stop pursuing your greatest dreams. It may take a little longer, it may look different than you originally planned, but that's okay. Keep moving forward. Keep striving for more.
I hope you all have a beautiful Christmas this week, if you celebrate. I'm in lovely Florida visiting my mom, brother, and my nieces and nephew. It's a much needed vacation and time away, and I'm so thankful for it.
Enjoy this week, my friends.
With love and wellness,