I’m never going to be able to do this.
I’m such a failure.
Everyone is going to laugh at me.
Why did I decide this is a good idea?
I can’t… (fill in the blank).
We’ve all been there. I know I have been…I still struggle with it on occasion. The doubts. The negative thoughts. Not believing in yourself. Not valuing yourself…your time, your energy, or your knowledge. But let’s talk about why this is a horrible place to be! I’m going to share with you why it’s so important…so imperative to believe in yourself, to trust yourself, and to value yourself. Because when you don’t, it manifests in every other area of your life. And even worse, that’s what you put out into the world, so other people are going to have a hard time believing in you too. It really is a vicious cycle…one you need to stop, starting today!!
Have you been here? Does this sound familiar to you? Read on because I know one thing that can drastically change for you…change your mindset, change your life!
Believe in Yourself
When we continually talk negatively to ourselves, we start to believe it. We believe we can’t do things or aren’t good enough or will struggle with whatever we do. Let’s make it simple with an example. I’m a crossfitter (duh, LOL) and pretty much every day at the gym, I approach a barbell several times with the intent of picking it up in some way, shape, or form. When I walk up to the bar thinking I can’t do it or won’t be able to do it, more often than not, I fail at the lift. I get so frustrated with myself in these situations. But when I approach the bar thinking, “Heck yeah! I am going to lift this with ease. I’ve done it over and over again. I know I can!” It all changes. I know my abilities and I believe I can do it. That belief in myself is such a huge shift…in my mindset and the outcome of the lift (or anything else I put my mind to). We have to envision our success and believe we will be successful, and guess what? We are (more often than not) successful! Believe in yourself, believe in your abilities. Period.
Just as important as believing in yourself is trusting yourself. If you don’t trust your abilities, then you won’t believe in yourself…and what follows is, you guessed it, generally a complete disaster. Without that trust, everything in life becomes a struggle. We constantly doubt our decisions and our beliefs. We question whether what we’re doing is right. We look for outside approval to make ourselves feel better about our decisions. Does this sound familiar? You call your mom, dad, best friend and ask, “Did I do the right thing?” “What would you do in this situation?” “Am I making the right decision?” “I don’t know what to do! Tell me what you think.”
Now don’t get me wrong, it’s not a bad thing to talk about your decisions and seek advice. But if you find that you can’t (or won’t) make a decision without getting other people’s advice or opinions, then learning to trust yourself is so important! A good way to do this is to quiet your mind and learn to listen to your intuition. I’ve learned to do this through meditation. And the more you listen, the more you put your trust in your decisions and your abilities, the easier it becomes to “hear” your voice. Trust yourself, trust your abilities.
When we start to believe in and trust ourselves, we also then begin to value ourselves. When we value our thoughts, our beliefs, and our decisions, we can conquer the world! Okay, so maybe that’s a stretch, but it certainly feels that way! Even if we aren’t always successful in our decisions (because yes, we sometimes fail at things we try), it means we are trying!! If we never try, we will never be successful at anything!
So let’s change our mindset…believe in yourself and your abilities, always. Trust in yourself and your abilities, always. And value yourself and your decisions, always. There’s nothing more confident and attractive than someone who believes, trusts, and values him or herself!
I know, you’re thinking, come on – this is so much easier said than done. I get it…I’ve been there. But start small…think about something you do every day. Something that you do well. And put all your belief, all your trust, all your value into that. Is it making coffee? Is it writing a blog post? Start with that, and then move on to the next thing, and the next thing, and the next thing. Listen to your thoughts and when you hear those common “I can’t” or “I’m never going to be able to…” thoughts, immediately change them! Think “I can…” or “I will…”
One of my favorite sayings that my mom used to tell me all the time is “Fake it til you make it.” The more you practice these thoughts, the more you will believe it. I promise. Be conscious of your thoughts and beliefs and change them to positive ones! It becomes easier and easier with practice. And even if you don’t believe them right way, keep changing them to positive ones. Fake it and one day, you’ll realize you actually do believe them! And you’ve made it.
Believe in yourself, trust in yourself, value yourself. You will see HUGE changes in your life when this shift in mindset occurs.
Have a fabulous week!!
With love and wellness,