As we head into this week of Christmas, remember to slow down, embrace the reason for the season, and be kind to everyone, for we're all fighting battles unbeknownst to others.
Yes, it is a beautiful season, one we celebrate and mostly anticipate throughout the year. But for a lot of people, it also brings sadness. Sadness from missing people who are no longer with us. Sadness from family members being too far away to visit or from being deployed. Sadness for what could have been. Sadness for being alone. Sadness for being estranged from family. Just sadness in general.
I'm so thankful this year for so many things, but it also brings a little sadness. I should be celebrating with a baby in my belly, enjoying the Christmas season and what 2020 would bring with a new baby Decker on the horizon. I see pictures of other women in the same place as I would have been and while it makes me happy for them, it makes me grieve for our loss. For what could have been.
I know there are reasons for everything, but that doesn't make it any easier...to handle or to understand. But I'm so thankful and incredibly blessed that I have an amazing husband, family, friends, and tribe to go through this with. I'm so appreciative for all of you and following my journey.
Nick and I are heading into 2020 with positivity and a plan to not plan. Yes, you read that right. The last time we got pregnant, I was tracking literally everything. I was taking my temperature every morning, testing for ovulation, and everything in between. I think it was more stressful than anything else. It definitely took the fun out of it.
So this time, we are not planning anything. We aren't tracking anything. I'm not testing anything. We're just being husband and wife and enjoying the process. I've worked my butt off to remove stress from my life, essentially since this summer. We're both taking new supplements. I've adjusted my workouts and am not pushing myself to the max anymore. I've adjusted my diet and lifestyle.
People keep telling me that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. And yes, I agree with that. But I haven't been doing the same thing over and over again. I am not that crazy to believe that things would be different if I didn't make any changes.
So I have been. Making changes, that is. Before we actively started trying to get pregnant, I know that I pushed myself too hard, expected too much of myself, didn't sleep much at all, and over worked myself to the point of exhaustion. And that, my friends, is not a healthy environment for a baby to grow.
So we shall what 2020 brings. We shall see what God has in store for us.
Goodness knows I am terrified, but I am also excited to see where this journey takes us. I know Nick and I will have a baby, one way or another. We just have to get there.
Once again, as we walk into this week celebrating Christmas, please remember to be kind to everyone. We never truly know what's happening with others, and sometimes, our small act of kindness can change their whole day.
I hope you all have a Merry Christmas. Enjoy this season, wherever it takes you.
With love and wellness,