I'll be the first to admit...change is scary. The unknown is scary. But you know what is even scarier? Living your life with regrets because you stayed in the same place, afraid to make any changes.
For far too long, I was one of those people who thought I was right...about everything. I could no wrong (ha!). Everything had to be done my way or it wasn't done "right." Do you know what I'm talking about? I mean, I got mad at an ex-boyfriend because he went grocery shopping without me...like, seriously. Could he grocery shop wrong? Apparently, I thought so.
How completely and utterly ridiculous.
I also didn't think I needed to change anything. I would get into relationships and when the same thing happened again and again, I would blame the other person. Because how could it possibly be my fault? Right?!
Ugh - how could I ever be so wrong?
Call it growing up, maturing, learning about myself...call it whatever you want. All I know is that my last break-up caused me to really take a look at myself and what I was (or wasn't) doing in all my relationships. Because, I'll be honest, I thought that last relationship was it for me. And when it ended pretty similarly to all my other relationships, I started to wonder what my part in all of it was.
During this self-reflection, I realized I had a skewed view on relationships. I didn't have the greatest relationship role-models growing up and what I thought a "good" relationship looked like came from fairy tales (which, let's face it, are a load of crap). Can you be happy in and have a healthy relationship? Absolutely! Is it always going to be sunshine and birdies chirping outside your window? Nope! Keep dreaming!
But in my skewed head, that's exactly what relationships were supposed to look like! Talk about a heck of a lot of disappointment when my relationships didn't look like that! When the guys I dated didn't live up to those expectations (sorry guys!!).
So I knew I needed to change that mentality and how I viewed relationships. Building my relationship with the Lord has definitely helped. I also recognized and realized that not everybody is going to think the same way I do...and that's okay. Just because someone has a different viewpoint doesn't mean they're wrong and I'm right. It simply means they have a different viewpoint.
And let me tell you, changing that little perspective has helped me TREMENDOUSLY!! I would get so hell-bent on being right and trying to win people over to my side of the table/viewpoint that it would cause knock-down, drag-out fights...okay, maybe not that bad, but it would lead to a lot of pointless arguments!
My point in all this is if we aren't open to growing and learning and changing our perspectives, we might miss out on a lot of opportunities God gives us. Part of growing and learning and changing for me included being vulnerable, trusting myself and my intuition, and learning to live with more compassion and grace and understanding, especially for others. After all, that's what God does for us...and we want others to do the same for us, as well. Give out to the world what you want to receive.
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. 1 Corinthians 13:13 NIV
This bible verse says so much to me. I knew I needed my faith now more so than ever. So I made that change and came back to Christ. I also knew I needed hope...hope that everything would work out the way it was supposed to, hope that I was living my life to the best of my abilities and making the right choices, hope that love would eventually find me. So I made that change and opened my heart to feeling hope and receiving the lightness that comes with that.
But most importantly, I also knew I needed love....for myself, for my friends and family, for my enemies (if I have any), for people I barely know. We live in a world that is far too often devoid of love. We judge other people based on looks, circumstances, stories we've heard. I know I did. But that doesn't give us the opportunity to get to know someone who may be completely and utterly amazing!
Who are you missing out on meeting and having in your life because you're too busy judging them? I would have missed out on a lot of close friends had I not made this change!
Yes, the greatest of these is LOVE. Let's spread that love...open your hearts to other people, because in the end, it's the people in your life that will be there for you to hold your hand when you need it most.
What are you resistant to changing right now? What areas of your life could use some reflection and growth? Comment below to let me know. I'd love to help you with this!
With love and wellness,