I used to think being kind and believing the best in people was a weakness. That all it meant was that I would get taken advantage of and walked all over, time and time again.
And I'll admit, I've been labeled too nice. I've let people take advantage of me and I've let people walk all over me. Yes, time and time again.
It's been a learning curve. And yes, I know that sounds weird, but I still struggle with that fine line of being kind while standing up for myself.
Because the truth is, I don't like hurting people. I don't like hurting people's feelings. And I firmly believe that everyone feels the same way I do. That people will treat me the way I treat them.
And that, my friends, is why I get taken advantage of.
Because not everyone is like me. Not everyone feels the way I do. Or acts the way I do. And not everyone will treat me the way I treat them.
And I'm still learning that fine line. I can be kind but stand up for myself. I can stand up for myself without being mean. And I can be kind, even when others aren't.
In this cruel world, even when others don't treat you the best, be kind. Always be kind. The way others treat you says more about them than it does about you. But how you respond and how you treat them back says everything about you.
The other part of it is that we have no idea what's going on in people's lives. Maybe they're suffering from a loss. Or they're struggling with finances. Or they just lost their job. Or they're going through a personal tragedy.
Because we all have things going on. And we all aren't going to be 100% all day, every day.
So even when things are going poorly or you're going through something terrible, smile and be kind to others. Because you never know what someone else is going through. And sometimes a smile is exactly what someone else needs.
Be courageous. Continue being kind. But stand firm in your beliefs and don't let people take advantage of you. Find that balance. And if you have a good way of doing this, please let me know. Because like I said, I'm still learning that balance.
I hope you all have a beautiful week! And a Happy Halloween! Be safe and have fun!
With love and wellness,
As a follow on from last's week post, what have you been putting off due to fear? Are you living boldly? Pushing yourself? Not settling?
Life is too short to be mediocre. To live small. To not follow your dreams.
Are you living the same old routine, day in and day out? Get up, go to work, maybe throw a work out in, come home, dinner, bed. Wash, rinse, repeat.
Does that sound familiar?
It was me, for far too long. I had just enough energy to go to work, maybe get a work out in, eat dinner, then go to bed. I finally woke up one day and realized that was no way to live. I was tired of living that way.
I was just plain tired.
I knew I had to make some changes. And looking back, that's when everything started changing for me. I was unhappy. Unsatisfied. Not even remotely where I wanted to be.
I was working for someone else. Unfulfilled in a job that wasn't doing much for me, other than paying the bills. I barely had enough energy to do anything other than work, although I still managed to find time to workout and was going to school at the time.
I don't know how I managed to make it all work. But...I do know that I didn't have a life outside of any of that. I didn't even want to leave my house to spend time with friends. It was bad.
There were a lot of underlying hormonal issues I had to resolve, but I also knew part of it was being so unhappy with what I was doing. My job. My schooling. Where my life was headed.
I definitely needed the changes.
It took a few years, a few more schooling opportunities, a few big changes, but I finally got on the path that makes me happy. That will lead me exactly where I want to be.
Yes...I'm living boldly. I'm no longer settling. I'm taking control of my life, at least the parts I can control!
What about you? What will be your last straw? What will it take for you to make the changes needed, or wanted, in your life?
How can I help you make those changes?
Just remember...live boldly. Push yourself. Don't settle.
Have a beautiful week.
With love and wellness,
What would you do if you knew you couldn't fail?
What would you do if you weren't afraid?
Two important questions I think a lot of us don't ever ask ourselves.
We live in a world where fear often runs our lives. We are too afraid to take risks. To make changes. We like status quo. We like comfort zones.
I know I lived in that place for too long. I didn't like the unknown. I didn't like not knowing what was going to happen next.
But you know what? Not knowing is EXCITING, just as much as it is scary.
Yes, the unknown can be a frightening thing. But that's the beauty of life. Even in our comfort zones, we don't really know what's coming next.
Life can change, and often does, in a heartbeat. I don't know about you, but I'd rather live a life I love and have chosen than one that was "mapped" out for me. You know...the one society tells us to live.
Comfort zones are just that...comfortable. Too comfortable. Boring, even.
I can tell you this...I've been scared $hitless every time I've made a big life change. Leaving the government was terrifying. Starting my own business was heart stopping. Walking into a CrossFit gym for the first time made me breathless. Coaching my first CrossFit class made my heart beat so fast. My first health coach client...my first personal training client...my first skincare client...all made me so darn nervous!
But...it all was so exhilarating too! These were all MY choices! Things I love and am passionate about. Things I CHOSE to do! And wasn't TOLD to do!
I wouldn't be who I am today without making those choices. Without stepping outside my comfort zone. I wouldn't be where I am today either.
Life is still scary. Making big choices is still scary. And I have to choose the scary things, just about daily.
But I love my life. I love the journey I've been on. I love the journey I'm continuing on. And I love the plans I have in place for my future.
Keep an eye out, because I have big things coming! I'm excited for all the changes that will be happening in my life soon!
So...what about you? What would you do? What have you been putting off because of fear? What is something you've been dreaming about? I would love to hear them! Let's see if we can kick your fear's butt and get you started on your journey!
Have a beautiful week!
With love and wellness,
You know how weekends are supposed to be for rest days?
I don't think I stopped moving this past weekend. From one thing to the next, it was nonstop. And that is just exhausting.
The problem with this is when we have too many days like this in a row...day after day, week after week, month after month. It results in illness, burn out, unhappiness, stress.
And yes, I've learned this lesson the hard way. Time and again, actually.
So while I may not slow down on weekends, I do make sure to rest during the week. I've given myself permission to slow down. To take the rest. And yes, to even take naps!
I used to believe that I constantly had to be moving or working to be successful. That if I stopped moving, everything would fall apart.
But in reality, the only thing that fell apart was me.
I would end up sick as a dog, unable to do anything at all, let alone work. I would barely be able to function! Talk about counter-productive!
I tell it to my clients all the time...if you aren't taking care of yourself, you won't be able to take care of others or anything else going on in your life. You can't pour from an empty cup. And yes, it's that simple.
But we like to make it hard. We like to push ourselves to exhaustion. We feel like we have to have every second of every day planned out and full of something.
But what if we changed that? What if we planned in a rest period? Yoga...a nap...meditation...coffee with a friend. Something that will fill your cup back up, so you can once again, be back to 100%.
How would that make you feel? Would you feel guilty? How hard would it be to give yourself permission to rest? Because I know, for whatever reason, that it is so hard for women, in particular, to allow ourselves to rest. We feel like we should be doing something else.
But...I want you to try it this week. Schedule in some rest...just for you. Even if it's 10 minutes a day...or even every other day. See what works for you and how it makes you feel.
Because you shouldn't feel guilty about taking time for you. You, my friend, deserve it!
Have a beautiful week! And comment below with what you plan on doing in your rest time this week! I like to turn my phone on silent and sit with my legs up the wall for 10 minutes. There's something about it that just relaxes me like no other! I can't wait to hear y'alls ideas!!
With love and wellness,
Sometimes we find ourselves in crappy situations....in what feels like never-ending terrible situations. We question why we're in those situations. What we did to deserve being in such situations.
And many times, people get stuck in those situations. They can't figure out how to get themselves out of them. And they stay stuck. They play the "woe is me" game. The "look how hard I have it" game.
They don't know how to break free of those situations.
I was asked a lot during last summer how I managed to keep moving forward and get through everything I'd been through. The answer was simple...I didn't have a choice. And the only way to get through it all was to keep moving forward and to MOVE THROUGH it.
I could have wallowed and sat in my own self-pity...I could have cried, thrown a fit, and stayed in that place.
But for me, that wasn't even an option. The only thing I knew how to do was to keep moving forward. Because the only way out of anything is always through.
Without any forward progress or movement, I would've stayed in that same place. And I don't know about you, but I didn't want to stay there. I didn't like feeling sorry for myself.
Yes, I had my moments. I allowed myself to cry and wonder why, but I didn't allow myself to stay there. I knew I needed to continue putting one foot in front of the other and making forward progress.
The answer didn't come to me right away. And it certainly wasn't easy. But when you're in tough situations, the only way out of them is to go through them.
My advice to you... Don't get stuck there. Don't get stuck in those situations.
Do the hard things. Move forward through the muck. I can't promise it will be easy, but it will definitely be worth it. Because on the other side of THROUGH the crap is amazing.
Have an amazing week, and happy October! I can't even believe we are into October already. This year has 100% flown by!
With love and wellness,