I’ve been so hard on myself these past few weeks. The above thoughts are all ones that have gone through my mind several times recently.
It’s. Driving. Me. Crazy.
So I am now a certified LTL Live the Lifestyle Weight Management Coach. I “graduated” October 12th and have been going through the 12-week program myself for six weeks now. I love the program in that I’ve lost a ton of inches (in those hard to lose places that NEEDED it!) and have toned up and leaned out like I wanted to.
However, I struggle with one part of it…the Monday morning weigh-ins and measurements. I should look forward to it, but it has really been stressing me out. I eat healthy and I know that I am maintaining and where I need to be (for my active lifestyle). But I dread Monday mornings!
I start thinking, “What if I didn’t lose anything? What if I gained? Am I going to get yelled at (by my coach)?” And it becomes this intense pressure to make sure I haven’t gained, which means I beat myself up if I eat something I “shouldn’t.”
I.e., I try to be PERFECT in my eating!! Uuuugggghhhhh!!!
Talk about stressful. And TOTALLY unnecessary!!
I know, without a doubt in my mind, that the numbers are NOT important! When I eat healthy, I feel amazing. And I have been feeling amazing. And my clothes are looser. And I keep getting comments and compliments from people on how lean I’ve gotten (and in fact, have been told to not lose too much!!).
So I *know* that I am doing exactly what I should be. Yet, I am so hard on myself to make sure that Mondays are a LOWER number!
I hate (and hate is a strong word) that mentality!! I hate focusing on the numbers. Will I continue eating healthy and the way LTL has taught me? Absolutely. Will I continue tracking my numbers after the 12 weeks? Nope. Because I hate the stress I put on myself doing it.
Did I eat *exactly* the way I should have this weekend? Nope. I went out of town and spent the weekend with the girls (it was amazing and much needed!). And I had a darn good time! I enjoyed some yummy beverages and even yummier food! And guess what? I STILL lost weight and inches this morning!
My point in all this is that I am more than the numbers on the scale! *You* are more than the number on the scales! How do you feel? How do your clothes fit? How is your sleep quality? What does your skin look like? If the answers to these questions are all positive, then you are exactly where you need to be!!
Yes, LTL has gotten me where I want to be physically…I toned the areas I wanted and leaned down in the areas I needed it. But the number on the scale DOES NOT define me!! It fluctuates every week for a VARIETY of reasons!! And that’s okay! Do my pants still fit me? Yup (well…actually, no, because they are WAY too loose now, LOL). So I am doing great!!
Don’t be so hard on yourself. Really, what I am saying is, “Whitney, don’t be so hard on yourself.” Because we all need that kick in the pants sometimes…including me. I am exactly where I need to be and doing what I need to be doing.
And you know what? I enjoyed my weekend! And I shouldn’t beat myself up because of that! I’m back on track today, and no worse because of it!
With love and wellness,
Well crap. I got caught up in the shoulds. You know the ones... the should haves. And the should dos. And the should nots.
I started thinking that I should be doing what everybody else is doing. That what I have to offer is not good enough because it's not like everybody else's. I got caught up looking at other people's programs and looking at other people’s offers and I froze. I stopped being authentic and started being something that I'm not.
The only thing that got me was heartache and stress and overwhelm. Why do I think that I am not good enough because I'm not like everybody else? Why does that become the overriding fear or question that I have?
I started my business because I want to help people. I want to help women who are just like me… Busy, professional women who are unhappy in their current situation, from their relationships (single or otherwise) to their job(s), who are suffering from insomnia, acne, sugar cravings, irregular cycles, this never ending desire to be perfect.
I want to help women realize that it's OK to say no. That it's OK to put yourself first. That it doesn't have to be a struggle. I want to help women stop striving for perfection because it's not attainable and all you're going to do is make yourself miserable.
There's beauty in imperfection. Think about some of the things that you consider the most beautiful. Are they perfect? Would you consider them completely flawless? Some of the most beautiful things I've ever seen have been completely imperfect or completely broken (when you think about it in terms of people).
I don't want to be perfect. I don't want to keep striving for something that is just going to continue to make me unhappy and miserable. I want to embrace my imperfections. I want to embrace the flaws that I have. And I want to teach women to embrace their flaws and their imperfections, their beauty, their inner desires.
I don’t want to do what everyone says I *should* do. I want to be my own unique, authentically best version of ME I can be! I encourage you to do the same. Because, I promise, YOU are amazing exactly as you are!
Stop trying to be perfect. Stop putting yourself last. Stop beating yourself up.
Start loving yourself. Start accepting progress. Start accepting mistakes (because it means you are trying). Start embracing who you are!!
Are you ready for that? Schedule a complimentary Health Consultation with me today! Let’s get you started on the path of breaking those perfectionist tendencies!! Let me help you transform your imperfections into your most beautiful assets!!
With love and wellness (and believe me, lots of imperfections!),
Certified Health Coach, doTERRA Wellness Advocate, and LTL Weight Loss Management Coach
If you’re new to my blog, I was baptized this past July (2015). And ever since then, my life has taken on new meaning. I’ve taken a different approach and view on life. I don’t know how to explain it, other than the biggest change being in how I approach relationships (and men in general).
I used to crave attention and affection…one could probably say I was even addicted to it. I wasn’t happy unless I was getting that attention and affection from a guy. And it didn’t matter if it was the right guy or just someone who was giving me attention. I would overlook a lot of things just to get that attention. It’s kind of embarrassing to admit that, actually.
It’s also sad to admit that it took me 33 years to truly understand that I wasn’t going to find the affection I was craving from a man. I needed to first love and accept myself (which took awhile to do, trust me), and second, I needed to place my love, trust, affection, and attention in and on God.
These were two of the hardest lessons I ever had to learn. I literally had to hit rock bottom...actually fall apart and feel as if I wasn’t ever going to find happiness…in order to learn those two things.
I can honestly say that while the trying times in my life (circa March/April/May 2015) were not ones I would wish on even my worst enemies, they were ones that I absolutely, without a doubt needed. Sometimes we have to hit the lowest of lows to make the changes that are necessary. God sees to that…but He also sees us through it.
Loving myself, valuing myself, learning my self-worth…these are things I have incorporated into every aspect of my life. I am no longer self-conscious when I walk into a room of people by myself. Would I rather be with someone I knew (i.e., a safety net)? Sure. But it is no longer necessary! I used to be terrified of going to church by myself…I thought people would judge me or look at me funny. And I love, love, love that I am now able to go without a worry in the world of what anyone else thinks. It’s pretty darn freeing!!
Knowing that my life isn’t run by the opinions of others has been such an amazing revelation! I know it may seem crazy to some of you, but I used to care so much about what others thought of me and what I was doing. I’d always wonder if they were looking at and critiquing me, or whether they thought my decisions were good ones.
Seriously. What kind of life is that?!
The only opinion that matters is God’s. I want to live my life for Him…and I want to live a life that makes me happy. You know the only person that requires pleasing? Yup…ME (and God, of course!). But other people’s opinions don’t pay my bills…nor do they have to live with my decisions.
When I let go of those beliefs, I let go of a lot of stress and unhappiness and worries. If I am happy with myself and my decisions, and I’m living my life for God, then nobody else’s opinions or beliefs matter. Do I respect and understand them? Sure. But I don’t guide my life based on them anymore! Doing that up to this point led to a lot of unhappiness!!
Another area where this came into play was in the guys I was dating. I put a lot of stock into what others’ thought of the current boyfriend (think my mom, my best friend, other close friends, etc.). Yes, my opinion and feelings mattered, but theirs also mattered. I was so worried about them liking the guy that it often led to a lot of strife and discontent within my relationship(s).
It feels silly to say that out loud…to actually admit how much stock I put into it. But, again, I needed that rock bottom to learn it was okay to live my life for ME and not for everyone else. Seriously, I’m the only one who has to live with my choices, so how could I let other people decide who I was dating?
I’ve also been doing a lot of reading and educating myself on being a good Christian girlfriend, friend, daughter, future wife, and what that means. I’m currently reading a book called Every Woman’s Battle, by Shannon Ethridge. She says something so profound...it really spoke to me...so I have to share it with you:
"Why are we attracted to some people and not to others? The reasons vary from person to person and are many times based on your experiences growing up. For example, I once felt a strong attraction to a family friend. I couldn’t understand why until I learned about imago therapy, which teaches that certain people simply “fit your mold” and each person’s mold is different. That is why you may have heard a friend rant and rave over her new boyfriend, but then you met him and thought, What on earth does she see in him? He fits her mold. He doesn’t fit yours."
I never understood this concept as I’ve had several friends where I thought that very thing about their choice in men! But you know what? It’s not my mold! It’s not my decision! I don’t have to live with him!
Such an amazing revelation and something that I truly take to heart. Because my mold, my choices, my decisions…they are different from everyone else’s. And that doesn’t make them wrong or silly. It just makes them different…and 100% my own.
I love that. Again, such a freeing concept!
So when you find yourself doubting your choices or worrying about what others think, remember that your mold, your decisions, your choices matter! They are precious and unique and yours alone to make!
Have a beautiful, uniquely you day!!
With love and wellness,
I’ve been a little lost lately. Kind of all over the place. Do you know that feeling? Where you have your end destination in mind, but you’re all over the place in what to do to get there?
Yeah, that’s been me these past couple months. I have a very lofty goal set for myself…a couple, actually. And I know there are several steps I need to take to get there. But I seem to be floundering in trying to figure out exactly what steps to take and how to get there the most efficiently and effectively.
Honestly, it’s been stressing me out and making me ask myself whether what I’m doing is worth it.
The reality of it is that it is 110% worth it. My goals…where I want to be in life…scare the crap out of me. But they also excite me to the core. This is usually a HUGE sign that I should be doing those things that get me to those goals.
Another sign is that I am completely unhappy in my current situation…and whenever I’m away from it, I am stress-free, happy, and at peace. Hmmmm…makes you think, huh?
We are taught from a young age, whether it’s on purpose or unintentional, that we should follow a “set” path for our lives. You know the one I’m talking about…go to school, get good grades, get into a good college, continue getting good grades, graduate (preferably with honors), get an amazing job right out of college, find the perfect (for you) spouse, get married, have babies, live happily ever after in your beautiful house with a white picket fence, all while working at your dream job where you get paid the big bucks.
Isn’t that how it works?
Here’s how my path looked (let me know if it sounds familiar): went to school, got good grades, went to a small (but good) college, got good grades (and beat myself up if I didn’t), graduated (yep, with honors), got the dream job I thought I wanted right out of college (amazing, right?), found a series of not-so-perfect (for me) guys, switched agencies (but stayed in the same job), still dating those not-so-perfect (for me) guys…no marriage, no kids…unhappy with my “dream job,” and certainly without a white picket fence.
I don’t know when I realized I was unhappy in my job, but I did a few things to try to change it. I deployed to Kuwait for six months, I moved offices (from northern VA to Norfolk), I changed my mindset. Nothing helped. I dreaded (and still do) going to work. I found (and still do) any excuse to avoid doing the work I had (have) to do.
I know what you’re thinking…that’s what we all do! That’s nothing new. Well, my friend, it is new for me. I am a giver…I give 100% of myself and my time to whatever endeavor I take, including a job. When that started changing, when my focus was no longer on working but on avoiding said work, I knew something wasn’t right.
It took me awhile to figure out, but I finally realized I had taken the path that was set out for me…the one I was expected to take…the one that our parents and their parents had taken…not the one that brought me happiness and joy.
Think about it…our parents, their parents, and their parents before them all grew up in this world where you graduated from school, got married, had babies, worked in one career your whole life until retirement, and then had your older years to enjoy the fruits of their labor.
But what’s wrong with this picture? You work in this career that you may completely despise just to pay the bills…but do you have time (and money) to go on those fun vacations? Do you have the time to spend with your family? Or are you stressed, trying to make ends meet, going to a job every day that you dislike? The real question is why do we have to wait for retirement to really start living??
I. Want. Something. Different.
I want something that I wake up every morning excited to do! I want to follow my dreams, follow my passion! I want to feel 100% alive and happy and like I am living my purpose!
I don’t want to be unhappy when I get home from work, because I’ve spent all day doing something that drains me. I don’t want to be grumpy with my family, because I’ve had to deal with things that mean absolutely nothing to me. I want to race home in excitement to share my amazing day with my significant other and family!! Think about how amazing our quality of life would be when we are doing what we love!!
We spend entirely too much of our time at work to let it drain us or leave us feeling unhappy and unsatisfied. I’m sad it took me so long to figure it out, but I’m happy I’m still young enough to have figured it out and do something about it!
And you know what? I’m taking those steps to make it happen!! It may be a complete 180 from my current job and people may think I’m completely crazy, but I am bound and determined to make my dreams come true! (For those of you that are unaware of my goals, I want to leave my government job to focus on my health coaching and love for oils! Health, fitness, nutrition…that’s where my passion lies!!)
Yes, a little clarification and reassessment was needed…but I now know what I need to do in order to make my dreams come true. I broke it down into small pieces, so it is more manageable. And I also keep reminding myself that it doesn’t have to be done all at once. Nor will it happen overnight. Small, consistent steps taken on a daily basis will get me exactly where I want to be!
So if there’s something you’re struggling with, having issues figuring out, remind yourself that sometimes the journey involves one step forward and two steps back. But that doesn’t mean it is a failure or will never happen! It just means you’ve successfully learned how to cha-cha!! :)
Keep an open mind, and if one way doesn’t work out, try another one! And take those small, consistent steps on a daily basis, and one day, you’ll wake up and find yourself living your dream! And most important, celebrate your successes!! Yes, even the small ones! Celebrate you!! Because YOU…your happiness…are 150% worth it!!
Have a fabulous day!
With love and wellness,