Nick and I are currently reading a book called "Extreme Ownership: How US Navy SEALs Lead and Win," by Jocko Willink and Leif Babin. It's one that has been on Nick's reading list for awhile, but I didn't know what to expect when I started reading it.
I can tell you that I've found this book to be an incredible read. If you lead a team, are ever going to lead a team, have hopes of leading a team, this book is for you. Not just in the military either. This works for any type of business. And I can picture how it works, or doesn't, in my current situations.
I mean, think about it. You have a group of people working in a business with no direct leadership or guidance. They don't know the mission or how they're all supposed to work together. And when someone gets out of line with the mission, there's no clear way of dealing with it. Or worse, there are no consequences. Usually, most people in a situation like this do whatever they want, which usually aligns with their own desires, not the business'. How well do you think that business is doing?
On the other hand, you have businesses where the leaders very clearly delineate the mission of the business and what's supposed to happen with their employees. How things are run. How decisions are made. Why the business does things the way it does. Everyone has their job and responsibilities. And if people don't do what they're supposed to, there are consequences for it. Now, how well do you think that business is doing?
It's very easy to see when a business has a good leader. It runs like a well oiled machine. All the players are in alignment with what they're supposed to do and there are no doubts about what's supposed to happen. Everyone is on the same page. There are no hidden agendas. Everyone takes OWNERSHIP for their part in the business.
Everyone in a business should know the mission of the business, the why and how behind the mission, and what their responsibilities are in said business. And when something happens, good, bad or otherwise, people should take ownership of their actions (or inactions) that caused that something.
For instance, the top leader should take ownership if they haven't communicated their intent down the line. How are their employees supposed to do their work if they haven't been told what the intent and mission is? Or worse, they don't understand the intent or mission.
On the other hand, if everything has been communicated and employees know what they're supposed to do, but they fail to do it, then it is their responsibility for the failure(s) in the business. As such, those employees should take ownership of their actions (or inactions). And of course, those employees should have consequences for their mishaps.
Yes, people may have their own agendas. They end up not being team players. But it is the leader's responsibility to remove those team players. Because otherwise, that person is going to sour the team. Thus, making it a terrible team. However, is the team to blame, or the leader?
I firmly believe there are no bad teams, only bad leaders. And if you have a bad team, it's the result of a bad leader.
Under bad leaders, teams become hostile and discontent. Employees begin to resent the under-performers, especially if they aren't disciplined or reprimanded. It becomes an unhappy workplace. Ultimately, the business may end up losing good employees, thus losing business. It's a lose-lose all around.
Of course, when the reverse is true and a business has good leaders, teams are happy and productive. Everyone knows their role and performs as they should. And under-performers are reprimanded accordingly. It creates a positive work environment where people are willing to do and give more. It's a win-win for the business and the employees.
As Nick and I start our own business, we hope to bring these principles into play. We want to trust the people we have working for us and we want them to trust us. It definitely goes both ways. We want there to be open communication and consequences for actions, both good and bad.
We're starting a new journey in our lives and I'm incredibly happy to have this book to help guide us in our leadership and on our journey.
Let me know if you've read it. And let me know if you can think of any instances where this is true. I've been under both good and bad leaders. And I can 100% see where these principles come into play.
I hope you enjoy your week. And welcome September (already).
With love and wellness,
Mondays are an important part of the week. They mark the beginning of the week, whether that's back to work or school. They mark the day most people start something new or set new intentions or make new goals.
It can also set the tone for your whole week. Good, bad, or ugly.
Wake up on a Monday with a bad attitude? Not looking forward to the week? That sets a negative tone for the whole week.
What about when you wake up thinking positive thoughts, knowing that you're going to have an amazing week, no matter how it turns out? Think about how that changes not only your Monday, but the entire week.
Yes, I know what you're thinking. That it's all just a bunch of mumbo jumbo, hippy, feel good stuff. But I can promise you that whatever you are thinking is how your week is going to go. What you focus on is what you get.
And yes, Monday is a great day to start something new. But here's the thing. You don't need a Monday to start. You don't need a Monday to change. You don't need a Monday to set new intentions.
All you need is a mindset shift and a positive attitude.
Any day is a good day to start. Any day is a good day to change your outlook. To change your mindset. To start something new.
So what are you looking to change? What are you looking to start?
Set your intentions. Start...just start. Today (yes, I know it's Monday) or any day. Don't wait until you're ready, or until you FEEL ready. Because I promise, you will never FEEL ready. There is no perfect time to start. You'll never fully be ready. You'll never feel ready.
You just have to start. Jump. Take the leap. Have faith it will all work out like it's supposed to.
Start today...set your Monday morning intentions. Set your tone for the week. Think positive thoughts, see yourself getting stronger, happier, healthier. And if you need help with that mindset shift, message me. I can help.
Have a beautiful week. With amazing intentions and happiness.
With love and wellness,
I used to have a bad habit of living in the future. I wouldn't fully appreciate where I was in life and always looked forward to what was to come.
Have you found yourself there? Saying, "I'll be happy when..." Fill in the blank with whatever you're waiting for. I'll be happy when I have a baby. I'll be happy when I pay off my debt. I'll be happy when I have a new job. I'll be happy when I have a boyfriend/girlfriend/significant other.
But what does that do? Does it leave you fulfilled? Does it leave you feeling happy and content with where you are in life?
I can tell you what it does, because I've lived it. Too many times to count.
You feel unhappy with where you are in life. You aren't happy with what you have. You are constantly looking forward and wondering if you'll ever get what you want. You always wonder what if.
I found myself there after having Kynsleigh. Wondering if I would ever have a healthy pregnancy...if I would ever have our miracle baby. It left me feeling very down and depressed and certainly not fulfilled or happy. I didn't like how it made me feel.
Thankfully, I have an amazing friend who sent me a book that helped me discover my new morning routine. I know I've talked about it in previous posts, but it's something that I think really helped me change my mindset. It helped me focus on the good I currently have in my life and to truly be grateful for all I have. It helped me to live in the present moment and to stop living for the future.
I've been doing my new morning routine for a little over a month now. I can tell that I'm more relaxed, I feel lighter, and I'm much more appreciative of everything I have in life. I no longer constantly look to the future in an attempt to find my happiness. I know that whatever is meant for me will find its way to me.
Spending every morning focusing on things I'm grateful for has changed my perspective in so many ways. I truly am blessed with everything I have in life. And I know that focusing on things I don't have isn't going to get me what I want.
I previously felt unhappy and a discontent with where I was in life. I kept questioning if what I was doing was the right thing. If there was something more out there for me. I didn't feel like I was doing enough. I felt like I had to force things to happen in life.
It's amazing how changing one thing in my life has changed my perspective and my overall sense of happiness. I feel a peace I haven't felt in awhile. I know that no matter what happens in my life, I will be okay. I've been through a lot, and it's all led me exactly where I'm supposed to be.
Nick and I made plans for 2020, and while it hasn't gone exactly like we thought it would, things have fallen into place. I stopped worrying about it and prayed more than I ever have. And again, I've focused on all the things I'm grateful for. All the things I currently have. Because here's the truth...when you focus on what you have, you'll get more of it.
Y'all...I stopped trying to force things to happen and just let them all fall where they may. Not only has it helped me feel better, but it has helped me let so much go. Whatever happens, happens. And I'll be happy and okay either way.
If you need help with changing your outlook, changing your morning routine, let's chat. I know it seems silly that something so small can change so much, but it's the only thing that I've changed over this last month. And I can truly tell the difference in how I feel and how I look at things. I truly feel a peace I haven't felt in a long time.
I'd love to help you get there too.
Have a beautiful week. Focus on the things you're grateful for. And live in the moment. Be thankful for the moment.
With love and wellness,
Do you ever stop in your every day life and think, “Wow. I’ve been through some shit. But I’m here. I made it.”
This happened to me last week. Doing laundry of all things.
My life has been a series of events. Some not so great. And some pretty darn amazing ones.
But I've made it.
It was the most random thought. I wasn't thinking of anything at all, other than doing laundry. I was changing the clothes from the washer to the dryer and out of nowhere, the thought just popped in my head that I've made it. I'm happy. Everything I've been through has led me here.
I mean, I never would've imagined my life turning out the way it has. I suppose that's the point though. We make our plans, we envision what things are "supposed" to look like, but things happen. Things change. Life happens.
It's what shapes us into who we are. Everything we've been through, all the trials and mishaps, all the ups and downs, all of it helps us become who we are.
I'm thankful for it all. I'm thankful for the ups and downs. I'm thankful for the good times and the bad times. I'm thankful life has turned out the way it has.
This doesn't mean that I won't go through any more hard times. I know that's not the case. Life has been, and always will be, full of good times and bad times. We simply go back and forth between them all the time.
And it isn't in trying to avoid the bad times. Because no matter how hard you try, you won't be able to avoid them. Instead, it's in how you respond to them.
Know that the bad times won't last. Feel them. Live through them. Grow through them. Learn from them.
And know that good times are coming. And when you're in the good times, enjoy them. Relish them. Love them. Live through them. Learn from them.
That, my friends, is life. Full of good times and bad times. Ups and downs. Growing pains and loving times.
Be thankful for it all. It helps you become exactly who you're meant to be.
Enjoy your week. Be thankful for your life. All of it.
With love and wellness,
We all think everyone else has it easier than us. That nobody else goes through any hardships. We see other pregnant women and wonder why it was so easy for them to get pregnant. We see people who can lift heavier than us and wonder why it was so easy for them.
Pick anything and fill in the blank and we wonder why they had it easier than us.
But I have a little secret for you... life is not easy for any of us. We all go through hard times.
Sure, there are things that may come easier or happen easier for certain people, but that doesn't mean everything comes easy to everyone.
Another little secret... we don't always see the behind the scene happenings. We don't see the hardships. We don't see how hard it was for those people to reach their "easy." We often only see the end results, not all the hard work that goes into getting there.
I know that's easy to say, but it isn't always easy to remember. I get it. I've had my moments too.
The most important part, however, is knowing that just because it isn't easy doesn't mean it isn't worth it. We must have perseverance and be able to push past the discomfort of actually doing the work. We're going to be told no, we're going to fail, not everything is going to work out the way we want it to...but that doesn't mean we should give up.
Believe in yourself, believe that you are gifted and meant for greater things. Believe that the gift(s) you have to offer are meant to be attained and then work your butt off to attain them!
Something that I've been working on for the last several weeks, maybe even a month now, is doing morning intentions and gratitudes. I noticed that I was focusing more on what I didn't want instead of on what I did want. And I was being more negative than positive. I didn't like what that was doing to my mindset.
I also knew that I needed to practice what I preach. Focusing on the positives in my life and on what I wanted was going to get me where I want to be a whole lot faster than being negative and down all the time.
So, I'm sure you're wondering what my morning intentions have been. It takes me about 20 minutes to go through them all. So I've been setting my alarm a little early and waking up to ensure I get them done. I've noticed it helps my morning start a whole lot better when I do them...and I end up having a better day too.
The first thing I do is write a gratitude list. I write out 10 things I'm grateful for...after each one, I take about 10-15 seconds to really focus on and be thankful for whatever I've written down. That usually takes about 2 minutes or so. Then I spend 5 minutes writing about anything. I usually write about how I slept, any dreams I can remember, anything that kept me up all night. I also write out my intentions for the day...what I want to focus on and how I want to spend my day.
Then I get comfortable, usually snuggling with the dogs, and I set a timer for 5 minutes. During that time, I close my eyes and meditate/visualize what I want my life to look like. Exactly what I want my life to look like. I usually end up super relaxed, with a smile on my face. I love those 5 minutes of my day.
The last thing I do is set another timer for 8 minutes and I read a personal improvement book during that time. I've had one that I've wanted to read for awhile and it's really hitting home with me every morning. The 8 minutes really help me stay focused and not let my mind wander.
It's amazing what this quiet time in the morning does for me. Even on those mornings when I wake up super tired or grumpy, doing these four steps helps me turn my day around.
So yes, I may not have it all easy...I may have my hardships...but I know that it won't always be like that. I'll go through the hard times. But I'll have my easy times too. And just like life for everyone, it will go back and forth. And life will go on.
So trust yourself. Believe in yourself. Believe you're exactly where you're supposed to be. And never give up. Even when things are hard.
Have an amazing week. Keep your head up. And focus on the positives you have in your life. Because there are positives...I promise you that.
With love and wellness,