Far too often, we blame our circumstances and where we are in life on someone else. We blame our parents, our friends, our family, the schools, society...whatever it may be...instead of accepting responsibility for our own actions and where we are in life.
I mean...think about it. YOUR choices have led you exactly where you are. It isn't anyone else's fault that you are where you are in life. You can't blame anyone else for the choices you've made.
Yet, this is exactly what we do.
We blame our childhood and how we grew up for what's happening now. We blame our schooling, or lack thereof. We blame whatever happened to us that we've held on to. We use these things almost as a crutch...or an excuse for not being where we want to be in life.
But the reality is YOU have the choice to overcome those circumstances and not let them run your life. We all have things that happen to us. But we don't have to let them run our lives or define who or what we are or have.
That's the beauty of this life we live. We have 100% control of our lives and what we choose to do with it.
The real question is, though, what are you doing with your life? Have you accepted responsibility for your actions? Are you where you want to be in life? If not, what are you doing about it? Or I guess...are you doing anything about it?
The first step to getting where you want to be is to accept responsibility for your actions and your choices. Quit playing the blame game. Quit pointing fingers at everyone else. Recognize that the finger needs to turn back towards you.
The next step is to start making those necessary changes. Make the choice to change things, otherwise everything will stay exactly the same. What changes are you wanting to make?
I'm not saying this process is easy or will happen overnight. I mean, I get it...it isn't easy to realize and recognize that our choices have led us exactly where we are in life.
I'll be honest...I've been there. I had excuse after excuse for my life circumstances and where I was...or wasn't...in life. And it took me far too long to stop blaming everyone else and to accept responsibility for my choices.
And let me tell you...it was freeing. So freeing.
Only I could make the choices and make the changes necessary to get where I wanted to be in life. I had to let go of what had happened to me...or what I thought was holding me back.
And the beautiful part is that we all have this power. We can all let go of whatever is holding us back and move forward with our lives.
So what's holding you back? What are you still holding on to?
I hope you all have a beautiful week. And quit holding on to whatever is holding you back.
With love and wellness,
I came across this quote this past weekend and it spoke to me. I mean...think about it. Can you remember what you were worrying about a year ago? What about 6 months ago? Or even last week?
I think we often spend too much time worrying about things that could possibly go wrong, instead of praying and trusting in the process. We miss out on a lot from focusing on the worry instead of focusing on just living in the moment.
I'm guilty of it. I focus on the "what ifs." You know...all the things that could possibly go wrong, but never do.
I work hard every day to remember that I am not in control of any of it. I can spend all my time worrying about the what ifs and let it cause me anxiety and fear. Or I can pray about it, let it go, and trust that everything will work out the way it's supposed to. Because it always does. Without fail.
I can list the number of things I've worried about...spent too much time worrying about...and then I can tell you how they all worked out. Every. Single. Time.
One thing I worry about, without fail, is money. About not having enough...not making enough...you name it, I've worried about it. And ask me if it's ever been useful. Ummm...NOPE.
But, without fail, everything has always worked out. Whether I worry or not. Praying about it, letting it go, and trusting God has always served me well. It means I don't spend my time stressed or anxious. It ends up just being what it is. And I enjoy life so much more!
I try to remember this when something is happening in my life. Will it matter next week? Will it matter next month? Next year? In 5 years?
It helps alleviate a lot of my stress.
So many things have happened that I could have let drown me. And yes, I've allowed too much of it to stress me out. But I also work really hard to remember that worrying about it isn't going to do anything for me. And it's certainly not going to change a darn thing.
So what about you? What do you find yourself worrying about? Is it something that will matter in a week? A month? A year? Five years?
How can I help you stop worrying? And to start focusing on the important things?
The phrase, "Don't worry, be happy," truly does mean something. Because worrying only steals your joy. Please don't let it steal your joy.
I hope you all have a fabulous week. And don't spend your time worrying.
With love and wellness,
We seem to think that success happens easily or quickly or even overnight. We see other people's lives and think it was so easy for them. However, for most people, it takes years of hard work and sacrifice.
Yet, for some reason, we want that success right now. We don't want the hard work. We don't want the sacrifice. We just want the rewards.
Here's what most people think success looks like: I have an idea. I start to work on said idea. I should be successful immediately. Oh, I've had some setbacks and I'm not doing as well as I should. May as well give up on my idea.
This, my friends, is what the majority of people go through with their ideas. Whether it's a business idea, a hobby, a new workout routine, a relationship...whatever the case may be.
But success is rarely a straight line from point A to point B. It typically looks more like a zig zag line from point A to B to C to D to E, and often all the way to Z.
Most people give up very early on when pursuing a new passion or dream. They don't like the hard work. They don't like the setbacks. And yes, it can be very difficult to encounter setbacks and failures.
But there's a better way of viewing these things. Instead of looking at them as setbacks, view them as learning points. Okay...so you tried something and it didn't work out. Great, now you know what doesn't work. Time to try something new.
Instead, we throw in the towel. We give up. We don't want to keep moving forward.
I say "we" because I've been there too. I've done it. I want the easy route, for pete's sakes! Don't we all?!
But here's what I know. If you don't sacrifice for what you want, ultimately what you want becomes the sacrifice. You'll never get what you want.
Sometimes it takes long days and longer nights. Sometimes it takes saying 'No' to those fun nights out or plans with friends. And sometimes it means foregoing things you want now in order to get what you want later.
I often ask when I'll be able to get more sleep or slow down as I feel like I am very busy these days. And the answer I'm given is when I've achieved my goals and dreams.
The truth is...I know this. I know I am sacrificing sleep and down time to achieve my biggest goals and dreams. I have to make sacrifices if I want to live out my wildest dreams.
My current motto is, "Today, I will do what others won't, so tomorrow I can do what others can't."
I don't want to look back at my life with regret. I don't want to look back and think "What if?"
So for now, I am making the sacrifices. I am giving it my all. I am doing what needs to be done to make my dreams come true!
What about you? What do you want most? Are you willing to make the sacrifice(s) to get it?
Let's chat, because I want to help you achieve your goals, whatever they may be!
Let's make those sacrifices together! And then let's watch our lives change!
I hope you all have a beautiful week. And I hope you continue to make choices that will get you exactly where you want to be!
With love and wellness,
You guys. I have to be honest about something. I've struggled a lot lately with staying positive. I've played the "Why me?" game a couple times too. I've had a few cry sessions...the not so ugly cries too. And I've complained. A lot.
I'm not proud of it. I like to think of myself as a positive person. As someone who can take the hits and keep on moving forward.
But let's be real. I am human. And this last year has been insanely rough. The first six months were a blur...I think I was numb and just going through the motions. And the next six months...well, I started to thaw out and actually FEEL everything that was going on. And, well...THAT was tough!
And during those second six months, a lot of additional things happened. Some were good, and some fell into the "Why me?" category. I'm pretty sure I even said to a couple people, "When will I stop getting kicked when I'm down?"
And you know where that led me? Down a rabbit hole of pity and focusing on ALL the negative things going on in my life.
Yep. What you focus on is what you get. So here I was focusing on all the bad things and the negatives going on...so I kept getting those things.
It's this terrible, vicious cycle. And I felt stuck there for entirely too long.
And sometimes it takes someone else pointing it out to recognize it too. Because I certainly didn't. I just kept thinking "Woe is me."
I kind of wish someone would have smacked me. Because I want to smack myself even writing this.
Because I am not that person. I don't like being in that place. Or at least staying there for a long time.
I'm not going to lie to y'all. Getting out of that mindset is hard. Re-learning to focus on the positives takes a little work. Okay...maybe a lot of work.
But once it was pointed out to me, once I realized what I was doing and how I was speaking (to myself and to others), I knew I had to make some changes.
For starters, I hadn't been praying as much as I should. I was relying on myself to solve all my problems. I was no longer giving all my worries and anxieties to God. And that, in and of itself, makes such a huge difference in my life. So that was one of the first things I changed and started doing again.
The second thing I did was start focusing on everything in my life that was going well! Because I have so many positives happening...I was just pushing them to the back burner.
And you guessed it! When I started focusing on the good things and all the positives, positive things started happening! And when I started giving all my troubles to God, I felt a peace I haven't in awhile. Because no matter what's going on in my life, He has always had my back. And He has always provided. Even when I didn't think I was going to be able to do it or make it.
There's no magic answer to turning your thoughts from the negative to the positive. But it is a simple answer...you have to do the work. You have to change your mindset. You have to start focusing on the GOOD things. And get out of the habit of feeling sorry for yourself.
Because life really is good. And there are so many good things to focus on. And I don't know about you, but I'd much rather spend my time focusing on all the things going well in my life. Because I want more of that!
I hope you all have an awesome week. And if you need any help with this change in mindset, let's chat! It is truly so much easier to do when you have someone helping you out and who is on your side. And, you know, someone to remind you there are good things happening!
With love and wellness,