So as you guys know, Nick and I are working on expanding our family. We are actively trying to get pregnant.
This process is a fun one. However, it is also very nerve wracking.
After having two miscarriages, I can't help but wonder what will happen next. Will we have another miscarriage? Will we have our rainbow baby?
The not knowing is the hardest part. I want to say that I'm okay with letting go and letting God take control. But it's really darn hard!
How do you not overthink the whole thing? Even after seeing two lines on the pregnancy test, even after not having your period, how do you not overthink it?
I would love some advice going into this. As you all know, I'm a planner. I would like to have some peace of mind as we go through this process and hopefully, not stress too much over it.
I feel like I'm going to have the doctor on speed dial when it does happen. Like I'm going to take 8,000 pregnancy tests just to make sure everything is okay. But is there really any guarantee? Or anything that will give you peace of mind until you are actually holding that sweet baby in your arms?
I'll be honest. In the last couple years, I had given up hope on ever having kids. I didn't think it was in the cards for me. I thought that I was meant to be a step-mom and an aunt and a god mom.
But after my life changed and I met Nick, I realized just how badly I wanted a baby of my own. I want someone to call me "mom."
Now, don't get me wrong. I love my step-children and my god-children and my nieces and nephews as my own. And if that's all I'll ever have, I will be happy.
But I truly hope God has other plans for me.
So...any advice you all have as we head into this great unknown would be greatly appreciated.
I love you all and I'm so thankful for each and every one of you. Thank you for following my crazy journey, including all the ups and downs of it!
Have a beautiful week!
With love and wellness,
Where there's a will, there's a way.
Yes, it's cliche. But it's also true.
If you want something, you want to achieve your goals and dreams, nothing should stand in your way.
However, this isn't always how it works.
We let things stop us. We let obstacles slow us down, or worse, stop us in our tracks. We let problems and other people stop us. And worse, we let our doubts and fears stop us.
If there's anything I've learned over the past couple years, it's that we are our own worst enemies. We use every excuse in the book to slow down or stop our progress. It's almost as if we don't believe we can be successful.
I know I didn't. For a long time.
I let my own self-doubt take over my thoughts and progress. It wasn't the obstacles that stopped me. Or the problems. Or even other people. It was my thoughts and feelings about all of those things.
I didn't believe I was worthy of success. I didn't believe that I could do or be anything I wanted.
And yes, I know how silly it sounds to feel that way about myself, but it's true. I was the only thing standing in my way.
It look a lot of work and a lot of positive thinking and positive talk, and I still have work to do, but I know now that I am worthy of success. I can 100% do or be anything I want. All I have to do is work for it. Set aside my self-doubts and fears. And really, truly work for it!
I won't let obstacles stop me (and believe me, they will try!). I won't let problems stop me (I've had my share of those over the past couple years). And I certainly won't let other people stop me (everyone has an opinion about what you're doing).
The only thing that can stop me is me. And I won't let that happen! Not anymore.
So what self-doubts and fears are stopping you? What excuses are you telling yourself about why you can't achieve your goals? Sometimes speaking them out loud to someone else helps. It gets them off your mind, but also helps you realize what exactly is stopping you from moving forward. And that realization and acknowledgment can make all the different in the world.
I hope you all had a beautiful Easter. Nick was off work (for a change) and we were able to spend time with our family and enjoy a nice Easter surprise.
Have an amazing week! And comment with your self-doubts. I'm willing to bet we all have similar ones!
With love and wellness,
One of the most common goals I hear from my clients is that they want to lose weight. This isn't anything new and will forever be something people want. They want to see the number on the scale go down.
And I get this. Really, I do. But when I hear how they've attempted to do this, it makes me very sad. Limiting what you're eating and how much (aka, a severe calorie deficit) is NOT the healthy way to lose weight. Just a friendly PSA - not eating is not a way to lose weight...or at least a healthy and sustainable way to lose weight.
The other side of the coin is that the number on the scale doesn't define you. I can tell you I weigh more now than I did in my 20s, but I am healthier, plus look and feel better than I did then. If I allowed the number on the scale to define me, I doubt I would be in the same boat.
Here's how I define my health...do my clothes fit? Do I feel good? Aka, am I not bloated? Am I using the bathroom efficiently? Do I like how I look in the mirror? How is my performance in the gym?
My weight has never defined me, thankfully. I've never been one to care about the number on the scale.
But I know this isn't the case for everyone. Many women live and die by that number. They obsess. They weigh themselves every day. It becomes a source of stress and often times, becomes an unhealthy disorder. And they make food evil.
I promise you, food is not evil. Food can be unhealthy, yes. But not evil. Done properly, food can be a source of health and satisfaction. Yes, I promise!
It's one of the things I help my clients with. Figuring out what food works best for them, how much they should be eating (hint: it's usually MORE than they think!), and eliminating the things that don't work for them. It's crazy how your body reacts when it's fed the right, optimal foods.
It took me years....yes, YEARS to figure out what my food sensitivities were. I did a ton of elimination diets. I was a vegetarian for 4 years, albeit a bad one. By that, I ate peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and frozen meals. I certainly was not a healthy vegetarian. I was still having hormonal issues, including terrible break-outs and horrific menstrual cycles.
At this point, I decided to become a vegan. I literally took so many foods out of my diet. I tried a juicing routine, where all I had for three days was vegetable and fruit juice. Yes...it was as tortuous as it sounds. I was a vegan for one year. And I still suffered from hormonal issues.
I was miserable.
I called my mother one Halloween crying at how unhappy and unhealthy I looked. The acne on my face was bright red and painful. I had gotten home from work and washed my face and hated how I looked. I called my mom and said, "If I take anything else out of my diet, I will be eating dirt." I had no idea what else to do.
Fast forward a couple months and I'm prepping for knee surgery. I'd torn my ACL and meniscus and was having my last meal before surgery the next day. I made "healthy" no bake cookies and ate all of them for dinner. Yes... Every. Single. One.
Needless to say, coming out of surgery the next day was miserable. I was having a severe attack where I was hot and sweaty and starting to black out, but the nurses wouldn't give me any food because my blood sugar was so high. I finally convinced them, probably because I was so frantic, to give me something.
That was my wake-up call. I needed to change what I was doing. And it was then I realized I was 110% addicted to sugar.
After my recovery and rehab (which was awful, FYI), I decided to do a sugar detox. I found a 21-day sugar detox online and decided to follow it to a T. Within one week, YES...ONE WEEK, my skin was starting to clear up. I could not believe how much I was addicted to sugar.
Also, during this detox, I started eating meat again. Bacon was my gate-way drug. My energy levels increased. My hormones started balancing out. My acne cleared up.
Y'all. It was like night and day. And was the start of my path to becoming a health coach and wanting to help others.
It took me 6 years to figure my issues out. Six. Long. Years. Done all by myself.
I've helped clients in 6 months! Having the help, the accountability, the suggestions and guidance, makes a world of difference! I only wish I'd had the same during my journey.
During this entire time, the scale was not my defining factor. For me, it was figuring out how to balance my hormones and clear up my acne.
What is it for you? What are you looking to change? What goals are you trying to achieve?
I can help. I've been there. I've walked in your shoes. And I'd love to help you. Comment below or send me a message. Let's walk this journey together!
Heave a beautiful week!
With love and wellness,
If any of you know me, I am not one to take it easy. I don't know how to slow down or to take things at an easy pace. I am an all or nothing girl. I always have been.
Any time I've wanted to make changes, I've always been one to either jump right in with both feet or to stop whatever it is I'm doing (my sugar detox, for example). I don't like to dabble with one foot in and one foot out. Once again...all or nothing.
So now as I'm trying to start a family and get (and stay) pregnant, I'm struggling with this all or nothing mentality.
My doctor has told me to back off my workouts just a bit. Well...what she actually told me was that she'd prefer if I did yoga or pilates instead. But, as I told her, I don't think that would be possible for me. I don't think I could step away from CrossFit and slow it down to the point of doing only yoga or pilates.
So I've decided to focus on my heart rate and monitoring it during my workouts. It's something that I hope will help me slow down. To take it easy. To learn to scale back. To learn that it's okay to NOT push myself so hard in every single workout.
And this, because it's not my normal all or nothing, is insanely hard for me.
I know what you're thinking...that this should be easy. I'm a coach and I know how to scale down workouts and movements and intensity. But without being injured, it's hard for me to do it for myself. Like, insanely hard.
Thankfully I have amazing friends who know my journey and my goals and help me scale it back accordingly. That happened for me on Friday. I, of course, wanted to do the Rx weight for the workout. I was just going to go slower, but still push myself. She told me to back off on the weight and I'm so glad she did. I learned where my threshold is for pushing too hard and raising my heart rate entirely too much.
On Saturday, I did our normal challenge workout at the gym. But, I scaled it back and still got an amazing workout without overdoing it. I know that my body needs less stress now and through the first trimester of my pregnancy. And learning how to do it now will make everything so much easier when I am pregnant.
Of course, one of the other internal battles I've had is that this means I will no longer be doing the workouts Rx or being one of the "top" female athletes in the gym. I like to push myself and see where I fall in the daily workouts. I like to aim for the top (yay for that competitive streak!).
But now my goals have changed. What I want has changed. Yes, I would still like to be competitive and push myself in the gym. But ultimately, I want to have a baby. I want to start (and grow) my family with Nick and Malachi.
So things will be changing. I will be learning to say no to things. Learning to scale down my workouts (while still getting a good workout in). Learning to rest and take it easy. Learning to lower my stress level (finally, LOL).
This has been a long time coming and while it will be difficult at first, I know this is what I need right now and it will not be forever.
So here's to learning all these things. Fun times in Double Decker land :)
I hope you all have a beautiful week! And send me some of your tips for learning to take it easy!
With love and wellness,
Sometimes we bite off more than we can chew. We get overwhelmed by all there is to do. And we find that we keep adding things to our already busy schedules. And we wonder how in the heck we're going to fit it all in.
This has been me these past few weeks. I had been trying to find ways to pare down my schedule, but instead, kept adding more and more. I'm not even sure how it was possible to do so, but I did.
And I had a few freak out moments. Like...how on God's green earth was I going to do all that I needed to do and get the extra things done too?
I'd like to say that I handled it with grace and ease. But I didn't. I was irritable and overwhelmed and over having so many things to do.
Until I talked with a friend and had a harsh realization.
No, I wouldn't be able to get everything done if I continued down the same path I was on. If I continued doing what I was doing. I was going to have to make some changes. And as we know, making changes is hard. It's scary. And we (aka, I) don't like it.
But I know it's going to have to be done. If I want to reach my goals and achieve success in what I'm trying to accomplish, then I'm going to have to make some changes. And yes, the changes may not be fun right now, but in the long run, it's going to be the most beneficial. I'll be less stressed, which is by far the most important thing. And it means I won't fall behind or neglect everything I have going on.
So instead of having Hulu on watching my shows, I'll put music on and get to work. And instead of scrolling through social media aimlessly, as we all are guilty of doing, I'll put my phone down and study. I'll build time into my schedule to ensure I get everything done.
No more procrastinating. No more trying to skate by with doing the minimum (who, me?!). No more putting things off.
I have big goals and big goals require big action. So here we go. Time to put my big girl panties on and make things happen!
What about you? Have you been putting things off? Not wanting to make changes? Let me know how I can help. Because it's always better when you have an accountability partner!
I hope you all have a beautiful week!
With love and wellness,
PS - today is Gizmo's gotcha day! He's been in my life 3 years now, but it seems like he's always been mine!!!