So I’ve been living alone (again) for a week now. It’s been an adjustment, to say the least. For many years, I lived on my own, so that’s not the issue. But for those many years, I had a furry little four-legged friend (or two) to keep me company. And I’d only really been alone for a couple months when I started dating Scott. And then I technically wasn’t alone anymore (I spent most of my nights at his house).
So when we moved in together, I instantly went from being on my own to (every other week) a family of five and a big ol’ Husky to always keep me company. Needless to say, there was always some noise or something going on, so I was never really alone. We made dinner together, we ate together, we watched movies together, etc. etc. And I’ll admit, I got spoiled. He did most of the cooking, while I did most of the clean-up, and we were both okay with that arrangement.
And I think that’s where the biggest adjustment has been for me….having to cook for myself again. And judge how much food I actually need for just one person, LOL. I think in my head, I’m still used to cooking for two (or five, depending on the week), which means I have lots of leftovers. Not that that’s a bad thing, but it makes a difference, LOL.
Plus the silence…I can’t get over the silence. The first night was definitely the hardest in that I didn’t have internet yet (how did I possibly survive??) and it was so silent in the house. Every night since then, I’ve had music playing or a movie or TV show on my iPad to have some noise. I don’t know what that says about me, but it’s nice to have the background noise. And to be honest, I’m completely okay with it :P
I don’t want to give anyone the wrong impression though. I thoroughly enjoy my alone time and don’t mind the quiet/silence. But after being with someone almost every day for the past six months, it’s made for a big change in my life. It also doesn’t help that I like to watch scary movies by myself. At least at Scott’s, I had the Husky to protect me :P
I’ve finally gotten into my new routine though…I like it. Actually, I love it. I have so much more time to get things done, and I’m able to take care of myself (by practicing self-care) so much better now. There’s something about a hot bath all by yourself with no interruptions that just soothes the soul.
I’ll admit, I let self-care take a back seat when I lived with Scott. I put everyone else first, especially the kids. And I know I wasn’t technically a “mom,” but I can now see how mothers are stressed and tired and put themselves last all the time. Women, in general, want to take care of everyone and everything, more often than not to the detriment of themselves and their health. Now add in being a mother and that becomes that much worse.
We, as women, need to make sure we take care of ourselves first. And yes, it sounds selfish, but if we are sick and tired and run-down, how can we take care of anyone else? I’m not saying that we need to put everything/everyone else on the back burner, but we have to learn to give ourselves some downtime. And more importantly, to not be so hard on ourselves!!
Our houses don’t have to be spotless, the beds don’t have to be perfectly made, and the laundry doesn’t need to be all done in one sitting. Because if you are happy and healthy, the significant other is happy and healthy, and the kids are happy and healthy, then that’s all that really matters, right?
So I’m off to end my lazy Sunday with an early bedtime (I had a late Saturday night), and to start my week off right. So remember, take time for yourself this week. Have a hot bath, practice a little meditation, take a walk by yourself, get a pedicure, or maybe even spoil yourself and get a massage! But whatever it is, enjoy it and don’t feel guilty for doing it! We all need to learn to love on ourselves a little more!!
Here’s some motivation for you to start your week off right!
With love and wellness,
So I moved today…again….for the third time in less than a year. Yes, you read that right. In that year, I’ve determined that I absolutely hate moving. But I guess you could say I’ve become somewhat of an expert on this whole packing and moving thing. Maybe I should buy stock in the moving company! I mean, it’s pretty bad when you call them to schedule your move and the lady says, “Oh, we just moved you last year!” Yup – they’re getting to know me well!
So last May, I bought a house in Virginia Beach and moved into it. I told everyone that I wasn’t moving again anytime in the near future (I’d moved from Fairfax to Suffolk in 2012, from Suffolk to Virginia Beach in 2013, and bought my house in Virginia Beach in 2014). Needless to say, I was sick and tired of moving! I was ready to be settled into one place for awhile!
But famous last words, right?! Because fast forward to December 2014 and I was moving in with my boyfriend and his kids! Here we were, thinking we’d found “forever” and that we were starting our forever together!
Fast forward AGAIN to March 2015 and we are broken up. We grew apart in a very short period of time and some things that neither of us could get past came between us. The week following our break-up was hard…it was so awkward and weird. I knew I couldn’t stay there until I could move back into my house (I rented it out through the end of December 2015). But I also knew that finding a short-term lease through the end of December wouldn’t be fun…plus, that whole packing and moving thing twice in 9 months didn’t make me very happy.
But I caught a lucky break…one of my friends from the gym had just deployed and was going to be gone through roughly the end of the year. She had left her house empty, but had been interested in having someone stay there. We worked out a great deal from afar (she was on a ship somewhere out there!!), and needless to say, I moved again today…for the third time in a year, LOL.
I’m still in awe that I’ve already moved again. And I’m not looking forward to doing it again in December/January, but the good part is that my furniture and other belongings are in storage, so I only had to pack and will only have to unpack once. So at least there’s that, right?! I look for the small victories :P
Anyways – I’m happy to report that moving day went well. My stuff is in storage, safe and sound, and I can begin the process of moving on and healing. I know we both played a huge part in our relationship ending, so now it’s time for me to learn from this and become a better person for the next lucky man who gets to call me his girlfriend :P For now, I know I need to focus on myself and readjust to single life (living on my own again is so STRANGE!!! I’m used to being surrounded by noise and people and a big, furry dog!!!).
I hope you all have an AMAZING weekend!
With love and wellness,
Have you ever had one of those weeks where you cram so much in that your head seems to spin because you’re running from one thing to the next? Yeah, that was me during the last week of February (but in a good way), and really into the first week of March. And now, here we are, mid-March and I’m finally getting back to writing my blog. I kept telling myself to sit down and write, but something else always gets in the way. I know you know what I’m talking about!
And the thing is, my schedule hasn’t gotten any less busy. If anything, I continue to schedule things back to back and over-extend myself. I have gotten a *little* better about it recently, but that is definitely something I need to work on, because all it does is run me ragged and then I’m no good to anybody, including myself.
But that’s life, right? We go and go and go until we physically or mentally can’t go anymore. I wake up one morning and just think, “Nope. I can’t today.” And go right back to sleep. Those mornings are the worst. My whole body hurts, my head is pounding, and I can’t think straight. And it’s not because I’m sick or coming down with anything. It’s literally because I have used up every last reserve of energy and my body is telling me to SLOW DOWN!!! I spend those days in PJs, in bed, sleeping and relaxing. And I’m better by the next day.
But wouldn’t it be nice if I listened to my body before then? You know, actually do that whole self-care thing that everybody’s always talking about. And I’ll be good about it for a while, whether it’s taking a hot bath, reading a pleasure book (instead of for school), or meditating, but then I go right back to my busy schedule of going, going, going until I fall in bed for the night.
So my goal for this spring is to set aside 30 minutes every evening for myself..not for my business or for school or for anything but me. I don’t know if I’m going to meditate or stretch or foam roll out my muscles, but it’s going to be a set 30 minutes of something just for me. I challenge you to do the same if you’re like me, rushing from one event to the next (especially for you moms with kids’ sports and parties and school functions, etc).
I especially need this now that my life has and will be drastically changing in the next few weeks. I recently went through a break-up, one that I wasn’t expecting. It also means a move is in the works since we lived together. I’ll admit, when it first ended, I was shocked and angry and hurt (aren’t we all?!). But I took a couple days to think about it and I realized, just like with every relationship, it takes two people to get to where we were. I also realized that the break-up was one of the best things that could’ve happened for both of us.
I’m still healing from this and plan on doing some soul-searching for a while, but I know that good things are in store for me. I could sit back and be angry and depressed and negative about the whole situation, but the truth is that I learned a lot about myself in this relationship. I also learned a lot in general, and know that I will take those lessons with me into future relationships and situations. I know I’ll have my sad moments, but I want to keep my head up and be positive about it, because that’swhat’s going to get me through this.
What are some good tips that you’ve found have helped you get through a break-up? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments!
With love and wellness,